This entry is going to have two parts: fucked up shit with good endings and fucked up shit with bad endings.
Good fucked up shit (i.e. the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind): I went to see this movie last night with a friend. After some adjustment time to the filming style, I really got into the movie. Go lookup an synopsis if you're interested, then proceed. So it really reminded me of my past relationship with Alia. The two characters mimicked us quite well I think. And in a sad way, I saw the two of us on the screen. I saw the fucked up things that they said/did to each other and I saw the imperfections in a relationship that has long been over but still echoing in my head. It made me want to apologize to her and set things straight, even though I know that is neither plausible, possible or wise for the either of us. The movie opened up hurt wounds in my heart which are probably going to stay open for awhile. Now, I said this was good fucked up shit. I guess, in a way, I am happy for seeing it. I think I got/will get something profound of the movie and in this manner it is a godsend. But then there's the heartache, depression and misery that is accompanying it.
Fuck, now the bad fucked up shit. So I have been broken up with my most recent ex for about four months now and through that time we still half-way flirted with each other. I talk with her early in the week and she tells me that she is kinda seeing someone else right now. Okay, that seems good for me. I am actually glad that she is seeing someone because it makes me feel like I won't try to go back to her if she is taken. Find out the good shit about it though ... the guy is cheating on his girlfriend who he is "supposed' to be dumping for my ex. What the fuck has gone wrong with the world. Not even last week, she and I were talking about how fucked up it was that someone cheated on me. She talked about how she felt sorry for me that it happened. Then she goes and does it to someone else. Anyways, this bad fucked up shit almost makes me feel good that we didn't end up together. The bad part of this is that I still wanted to be friends and we have been for the past few months. I don't really know if I want to be friends with someone like this though. Or maybe it's just the jealousy that she moved on before I did. Who fucking knows?
So, the moral of the story is that fucked up shit can be good or it can be bad. Or, in my case, it can be both at the same time. I would like to post one entry for once with feeling like shooting a toe off. Fuck. -Dave
Good fucked up shit (i.e. the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind): I went to see this movie last night with a friend. After some adjustment time to the filming style, I really got into the movie. Go lookup an synopsis if you're interested, then proceed. So it really reminded me of my past relationship with Alia. The two characters mimicked us quite well I think. And in a sad way, I saw the two of us on the screen. I saw the fucked up things that they said/did to each other and I saw the imperfections in a relationship that has long been over but still echoing in my head. It made me want to apologize to her and set things straight, even though I know that is neither plausible, possible or wise for the either of us. The movie opened up hurt wounds in my heart which are probably going to stay open for awhile. Now, I said this was good fucked up shit. I guess, in a way, I am happy for seeing it. I think I got/will get something profound of the movie and in this manner it is a godsend. But then there's the heartache, depression and misery that is accompanying it.
Fuck, now the bad fucked up shit. So I have been broken up with my most recent ex for about four months now and through that time we still half-way flirted with each other. I talk with her early in the week and she tells me that she is kinda seeing someone else right now. Okay, that seems good for me. I am actually glad that she is seeing someone because it makes me feel like I won't try to go back to her if she is taken. Find out the good shit about it though ... the guy is cheating on his girlfriend who he is "supposed' to be dumping for my ex. What the fuck has gone wrong with the world. Not even last week, she and I were talking about how fucked up it was that someone cheated on me. She talked about how she felt sorry for me that it happened. Then she goes and does it to someone else. Anyways, this bad fucked up shit almost makes me feel good that we didn't end up together. The bad part of this is that I still wanted to be friends and we have been for the past few months. I don't really know if I want to be friends with someone like this though. Or maybe it's just the jealousy that she moved on before I did. Who fucking knows?
So, the moral of the story is that fucked up shit can be good or it can be bad. Or, in my case, it can be both at the same time. I would like to post one entry for once with feeling like shooting a toe off. Fuck. -Dave
Thx for that link; I'll have to DL some of that shit. Also, I'm gonna do some ubs bugfixes today; telephone interface is somewhat down the road...