dave42

last night i watched the first sunset over texas for the first time this year. the temputure was in the high 70s. it was hazy. i thought about goals i would like to achive, a promise i made to myself, and places i wanted to travel this year.

i get so lost in my day to day shit that i lose sight of the big picture. i've been living day to day so long, just trying to stay alive. now, turning 30 this year, i need to start thinking of the future. not in the "oh shit, i'm getting old and need to do this" kind of way. in the "what am i doing to make my life better, easier, more enjoyable, and fullfilling" kind of way.

having no ties to this area, no wife, girlfriend, kids, or band, i am almost ready to move. i need to be able to trust myself in a strange city. i need to be able to trust myself not to go back to my old, shitty ways. trust myself to stay clean. to find positive people. and to find support. until then, no matter how much i hate texas, i've got to stay put.

other than finding a good job, maybe a career, here are some other goals:
- write more music, poetry, prose, whatever.
- skate more.
- work on my anxieties.
- get more tatoos, of course.
- forge meaningful, positive relationships with people.
- travel.
- get better at skating.

i don't know. i hear the clock ticking louder now. it's time to get my ass in gear. time to accomplish something. find something that is worth living for. worth dying for.