datura

Dear Lord it is ass cold in this old house! And to make it worse, the car, yes, the cat PEED in the main heater vent. It was like bio warfare was unleashed in this house. No joke. I was chililn' with my housemate and my fantabulous friend when suddenly, I scrunched up my nose and questioned, "What's that?"
"What's what?" they returned, with raised eyebrows.
"That smell. It smells...like old people." *note, no offense meant specifically to old people, it is simply that their houses tend to have a specific pee scent at times* Then it hit strong, a powerful waft of hot cat pea wind that knocked the three of us down in succession. First me, then my housemate, then my friend. My housemate nearly fell from his delapidated armchair(dangerously close to the heater vent), while my body was blown into the kitchen and my friend fell off the back of the rickety old couch.
Yes, my dears, the stench made us run for our very lives. Our upstairs housemate came down, wondering what all the fuss and noise was for, and I tried to explain, but the horrific pee scent suddenly put me into hysterical laugher. She stared at me while salt tears of horror and laughter trickled down my face in miniature waterfalls until suddenly, the pee air got her too and she froze into a state of shock . The poor thing, owner of the now-on-th-shit -list cat(or shall we modify to pee-list) nearly burst into tears, the stink was so bad. Plus, she felt awful that the terrible pee wind from the vent nearly blew us all to pieces.
In her best effort, she bought some expensive spray to fix the stink that just won't quit, and yet, today, it smells of pee...again....bad, but not as bad. This time I only lost some hair, instead of some limbs like before.
So, I ask, if anyone has any experience with this problem, and has an actual solution to get rid of the pee stink so that I and my clan may extend our lives longer in the absence of cat pea heater vent health concerns, please, by all means, let me know. Really, this is not a joke. It is NOT a test of the emergency broadcast system. It is, in fact, an actual emergency.