In an effort to be more conscious about how I live my life and somewhat inspired by @wilwheaton I've decided to really try and actively blog to start tracking my lifestyle and give myself a reboot to the system and have a place where I have accountability.
These are the things I actively find 'wrong' in my life and solution.
Photography -
Problem:
I have a new camera and we aren't exactly 'friends' yet.I bought a new camera, the canon 6d early this year. It's a great camera and the ISO capability is better than ANY camera I've ever owned before, the problem is... I don't trust it. I'm stuck in the idea that after a certain amount the ISO can't handle pictures to the satisfactory way I need them to turn out. This in turn has led me to make some questionable choices when finding the right exposure and keeps me distracted on the set, therefore not paying attention to more important things like composition and whatever else pop ups.
Solution:
I need to take the camera out more, test different lighting situations and figure out the best way to light a subject. I need to not half ass reflector duty as well. Often times I'll have no one to hold my reflectors so I just got into the habit of not using them, and this isn't good at all. It doesn't help with getting the right light and I need to invest in some proper equipment so I won't have to worry about that aspect as much. The lack of light in Portland doesn't help and I need to crack this problem and trust the camera.
Problem:
I need to work at my work. This is a multi step and related to above.
Solution:
Step 1:
I've found that many times I've been doing shoots especially for SG that I go into what I call an 'auto pilot' mode. Usually when I set up shoots I have a limited time to shoot multiple girls all in a row. I'm constantly fighting for time, peace of mind and lighting. Having to work under pressure creates a non organic flow to photography and I feel like churning out sets back to back to back is probably not the best way to shoot sets but when it comes down to logistics I don't really have all day to shoot stuff. Also I'm not the most outgoing person and I get frustrated with the way I lack communication with my subjects in order to get what I want. The problem being I just don't know how to tell them what I want and for the most part this works fine because I trust the girls to be able to pull it off and for the most part they do. I look back at my reel and go back to my train of thought and realize that if my communication would be 10x better the shots would also be 10x better. Basically it turns into this odd spot where I'm quiet trying to articulate what I want in a shot, I feel the model is getting impatient, I get nervous because I think i'm being an idiot, apologize for nothing and then move on and not get the shot I wanted to. I'm sorry for being awkward girls i'm working on it. It's safe to say I've had more opportunities than a lot of staff photographers, especially the male ones. I don't want to leave a trip where I feel like i've squandered and wasted the opportunities by not producing a photoset that i'm 100% happy with. It unfortunately happens although I guess the whole idea is subjective to whether or not I succeeded or not.
Step 2:
I've been told that I'm considered one of the best shooters on site. While this is flattering and should be inspiring I tend to take a 2 prong train of thought about this. One, I get 'lazy' and think I no longer have to work on my work and no longer improve myself because I reached a 'goal' this isn't the proper way to think because I know that as an artist and a photographer I HAVE TO PUSH myself into new territory. Whether its a mood in a photoset, something new in lighting this soft light rolling around in the bed stuff just isn't working for me anymore and I've known that for a very long time but don't figure out the solutions to make me excited about my photography. When I first started I thought that once I got to a point where I could shoot with almost virtually anyone I ever wanted , I'd be able to use these connections to shoot stuff I wanted. But shooting sets kinda took over that vision and I found that this was all I ever shot anymore.
Step 3:
Work on new editing techniques. Learn the little tools of photoshop that I don't use at all. I probably use like 30% of photoshops features. there's something wrong with that idea.
step 4:
find photography role models
Life:
Problem:
I need to get into better eating habits and live a healthier lifestyle.
solution:
eat better and have a healthier lifestyle. I live in Portland and this town is pretty much equipped for every opportunity for someone to lead a healthy life. There was a moment here where I was on a really good round where I felt healthy and happy. I know these things because I was living it and had never felt as good as when I was eating cleanly, less stressed, and all because I followed a daily routine of waking early enough, practicing daily yoga and staying away from processed foods, sugars, and excess carbs. I dropped a whole 2 pants size and just felt 'good' about everything. So I really have no excuse not to get back on this because I know taking these actions ARE good for me, even though a part of me just seeks the 'comfort' of pizza or some other guilty pleasure. I know it's not sane or proper to say i'll never eat those foods again, but just the idea that i need to be more conscious of my choices and know when it's ok to eat poorly and not feel guilty over it.
Problem:
I don't read or write enough
these were two of my favorite past times growing up and for whatever reason I don't do either of these enough. I just sit on netflix and zone out. I mean to read and the pile of unread books I keep accumulating is a testament towards that. This is a waste of money and space. I just don't feel like i can mentally commit to losing myself in the book world these days as there are so many distractions in the modern age with cell phones, internet, roommates, work, etc. I think I need to start setting aside time just for reading and cut myself off from the world at least twice a week to get that ability to read for recreation and knowledge again. I hate that I don't read. As for writing... this blog hopefully will be the regular.
Watch movies and dedicate myself to watching them listen to podcasts, and things that benefit me rather than zoning out on stupid sitcoms and reality shows.
aka turn off the phone and toss it to the side and not surf the web while watching movies...
Love:
I haven't had a date or even tried dating since I moved up here. This.... i still don't have much of a solution for as most people seem to meet people up here at the bar scene and not being a drinker, I feel I miss out on a lot of social opportunities that most people seem to have. Tinder and online dating sites have never vibed well for me, so I sit at home with my cat and am somewhat content by the whole thing but yes, life is lonely sometimes... so solution would be.... go out more with friends at least and not be so flakey and not afraid to talk to people even if it doesn't lead to anything it's still a practice to put myself out there and be more social.
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ok so on to other things and not my insane rantings...
I was in Los Angeles last week and had the amazing opportunity to shoot at the legendary Suicidegirls house. Thank you @sean I know access to the house is restricted for men and I feel really honored for the trust that's been given to me to be able to even step foot on the property let alone shoot sets and hang out with the lovely ladies.
I shot some amazing sets while there:
@reed
@jessicalou
@sophoulla
@sunny
@liryc
@illusion
@lucerne
other shots from LA
also shot a set with @pulp
and @sash and @tita
anyway as you can see Los Angeles was a blast, I really do need to start going down there on a more regular basis. Maybe this'll be a thing soon... anyway I've rambled on enough, i'll check back in 2 weeks with my 'reboot' wish me luck .
edit to add:
One of my new Portland hopefuls just had her set put into member review. Add her now! @motherlucifer
