Things never end up how you think they would do they? I'm talking to a girl... a friend of mine. I honestly care about her... but me and her dated before and it seems... she can't trust me/herself enough to be happy with us as we are now. She's convinced we'll break up or I'll hurt her again. It seems that lately I've been bumbarded by people who have either hurt me or I've hurt in the past... all of which remind me constantly of how much hurt I caused them or how much hurt they caused me. All of it is slowly collecting itself inside my chest... and depressing me more and more. I mean shit... what do I say? I know I'm a horrible person, undeserving of any happiness and love, but DAMN... there's NO NEED TO RUB IT IN MY FACE! I know I deserve nothing more then to be alone and empty... wasting away my existance searching for something to make my life seem real... but... damn... just... stop making me feel that way. I... I wish I could just stop living... and be blank... just... be an empty emotionless shell of myself... so I wont have to feel. I wish I didn't have to feel... I wish I could be more then I am for myself... but... I also wish that I could... just... be forgiven. I forgave... but... it seems... I'm never forgiven. Change means nothing... except when it's bad. We'll accept the bad, but never the good... and once the bad comes... we're angry because we had no good...
I'm afraid you'll hurt me... I was afraid you'd love me too much.
I'm afraid you'll hurt me... I was afraid you'd love me too much.
thanks for the comment on my set
And no problem. Keep smiling.