Thursday Oct 20, 2005

0
blah blah blah, nothin to say, so numb, my girlfriend, or i guess my ex-girlfriend, she went off on me and told me never to bother with her again, or that's how i took it. and i take that very personal, hurt pretty bad, stomach still turns thinking about what i did, she tried calling me like 20 times over 2 days i never answered, didn't want to her how she was just going through stress, i would never do that to
my loved one. that's why i never picked it up. cause she ended us in my eyes when she did that. well, call it what you want, i'm a jerk, and she's just her, nothing bad about her, Actually, really cute and funny and just awesome to hang with.but the bad feeling blowing up on people she needs to learn to control or she will hurt her mr. right, i'm not one to talk though, cause i'm a smart ass jerk in her eyes and yes, i will return your stuff i'm not that evil
sunniapocalypse:
I pretty much dont get it. I didnt say dont bother with me. You said "well you sounded pretty serious the other day when you said you didnt want to see me" and I said 'that was the other day' and you just kept going with it. So i said 'dont bother then'.

I felt like an asshole the day I told you not to come but I only said that because I didnt want you driving up here just to turn around to go home. I know that moneys tight and I didnt want you to waste gas just to see me. I wasnt mad at you, just our situation.

Do you have any idea how much Ive cried the past few days? I never cry about anyone. I was laying there sobbing on the bed. I never broke up with you, I figured you were breaking up with me. I admit I can be impulsive when it comes to things. I do blow up on you. But its not because Im REALLY upset with you, Im more upset with myself for what im doing to you and my situation in general.

blahblahblah

i love you so much.

none of this really means anything. but whatever you want, because this really isnt what i want.

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