darkhelmet

Well it's been an interesting couple of days. Not so much interesting in a good way.

I'm not all that happy with my current place of employment. It inspires a really unpleasant combination of apathy and frustration that make me difficult to work with. I'm in the weird position of sort of being responsible and just being another cog in the machine at the same time. I've also been very frustrated with the skill level of the interns. It's been very frustrating for me to go from skilled and fairly self sufficient folks to interns who need to be supervised and led at all times. It would be less frustrating if there seemed to be more retention and more critical thinking going on. Unfortunately not only does it seem tough for them to remember things, they lack in confidence in way that makes it difficult for them to do anything on their own. It also hasn't helped that the TD isn't particuarly experienced either. I spent a good deal of time in the last show repairing and reengineering jacks and casters and the like. It was really frustrating to lose all that time when time was so short.

The other day I got a lecture disguised as a meeting though the TD was there and I think he was getting lectured as well...maybe that's not a good way to think about it. At any rate I was told it was an educational theater and we all needed to be friendlier and work to make the shop a better working enviroment. These are things aren't bad things and in truth I didn't realize that people weren't feeling good about the state of the shop. Though in truth I wasn't terribly happy about it myself. I'm not sure where the medium is though. I don't want people to be unhappy but on the other hand I want the shop to be more efficient and orderly. Now I'm not really sure how to go about making things better. I don't really feel like I need to eat a bunch of shit in order to make amends because in lot of ways I don't feel like I'm in the wrong. On the other hand it may make for an easier summer if I make a few apologies. I need to find a middle ground. Though the one intern that I have the biggest problem with, and who has the biggest problem with me, is not going to be an easy one to make peace with. She has a terrible attitude and combined with her low skill level really pushes my buttons. I was an asshole to her about using the table saw, and though she deserved some it, it was not a very professional thing to do. I'd be more inclined to apologize if she hadn't given me shit today at work. Though she may have been trying to make peace herself...we'll see. I handled it with friendly humor instead of going on the defensive so hopely that is the case.

Blagh...