There was dancing. There was some hugging. And I'll not post the latter. :-) Nothing is fixed, and I don't know if she'll ever *really* come around, but we did have a great time, and stuck together like glue (us, not just me to her. don't worry :). Anyway...? The music towards the end was perfect, we both danced like madmen and I got to look at her beautiful smile for an hour. The morning after I told a friend: "For evenings like this one she can break my heart every fucking week". I'm still super happy I went there, didn't give in to despair, didn't keep distance just to play something safe. I would love to share the pic of both of us. If it ever works out, you'll see why. One thing I pondered about telling was... after the party she gave me a lift to my hotel. I'd been handed on a gin tonic "it's water" and ended up too drunk to understand italian. And what this charming girl did was.. I think... when she noticed I couldn't follw anymore she just kept telling me stuff for 5 minutes. I did catch a "mi ami"... basically, I think she seriously took the opportunity to talk freely for a moment and reflect. No idea what she said except acking that she knows i'm in love. and I CAN'T even find words how cute a move that was. I'm trying to be respectful of this friendzone thing till I can properly speak her tongue, and she seriously plays the game and only tells me whatever I would love to know when I'm not up to understand it. That is so fucking nice, so cute, so adorable. Geez. And now that I saw that pic of ours. Things aren't all bleak. Plus, the dancing. I've again had someone shake my hand to congratulate my style, some random girl pulling me up to the stage, and - right, that was a fun bit - watched the lead dancer get a tongue job from her kneeling GF right next to me while I danced. Ah, and one old friend of my crush just referred to her as "your girl", and one other guy basically gave me his blessing... I can't even tell that story, nor why I can't tell it. if she knew she'd probably flay my skin, or his. lol. Some kind of evening.
darkfader113:
is what i didn't yet post, but someone did me the favour so me just copy pasted. that's like the exact perspective I had that night, just with some girl's ass on my hips :)
darkfader113:
...oh and this weekend's party was cancelled due to to all the ice and snow. So I'll be craving until end of month when I can finally dance with a certain someone again. What are the chances I mess up, on a scale between 'super likely what else to expect anyway' and '10'...
darkfader113:
taken by love of my life, just wasn't aware of that back then. much less so that she saw me first, not my friend who I'd never gottten in the way. fuck my life. could've been married ever since and gave it a pass, never even knowing. jess... we should've gone down in flames - instead of wasting our lifes! equilibrium was _never ours_.
