Girls! Today will be my anniversary (il compleanno)... in fact it's a month short, but today Decadence is again at Villa Boschi so THE HELL I'm gonna be there. I don't know if my dear is even gonna be around - somehow she doesn't like the place - but this is personal. So much changed in my life by that single party, I need to be there and just get wasted.
On Thursday I turned 40 and I'm totally not over it, but I managed to find a party for every. single. day. So let's rock.
ima dance. ima get drunk and sure as hell i'll look at some sweet italian girls.
If she pops up unannounced I'll silently raise my chances to 30% or so.
Did I mention I'm in love? Well... of course I did.
I passed on posting updates but my Itialian sucks a tad less by now and we _have_ _had_ _a_ _goddamn_ _aperol spritz_ _in_ _the_ _afternoon_ _like_ _a_ _normal_ _flirt_ a few weeks back and I am so fucking happy.
I'm far too drunk atm and should have kept my mouth shut.
but it is awesome.
e-d-i-t:
E questa volta ho fatto un foto :-)
(One taken from the grass in the villa's court where I was watching the stars along with the music. It's really a VAST place. cuteness did not show up but kept me company via my phone... I finally (days later) understood that for those 1.5hr rides she likes to have a passenger to keep her awake. I didn't figure that in April because I mistranslated stuff like a pro. Well. once again things turn out *less* bleak than I had been thinking. it is nice. Well... and who'd not kinda worry. Like 8/10 people I know think I'm nuts for still trying, but it's not like they'll put another girl in front of me and make me fall in love. So, maybe, they aren't really of any help in this matter ;-)
In any case, the night sky was most beautiful. I think I even saw some shooting star, and you can guess what I wished for at that instant.
I got to meet a few new people and some I already knew... I even helped stop a fight later on outside of the party (can never not go and try stop it even though I would never stand the slightest chance if one turned on me. but they don't so ... heh)
I also... lol... again managed to not grasp that some girl in her undies and stockings walking up to the cage in front of me and dancing with closed eyes for a minute, then again leaving, MIGHT be interested. MIGHT be even more likely if she does that MULTIPLE TIMES.
In my head "oh she's dancing really nice and so emotional with those closed eyes, it's almost like she's doing a show for me" (like one step away, and she just walked there specifically to do that) "but that would be too nice to be true, right, she just played with that other girl over there and who knows if she really wants"
until later, in passing, she said to some of my friends "lui e bravissimo" (which can be translated as "this guy is far too mannered" or as "this guy dances like a god" and putting it all together, it was likely both)... some time later she went to dance with 3 other guys at the same time, and I think by then I somewhat got the message. You might figure that someone so uncertain that he won't simply put his hands on an beautiful butt in his front also won't just walk over and join in, even if she again looks over here while having her drink....
She was cute enough I'd have played along for a bit :)
*pulling my hair out and banging my head*
At the closing set by one of the organizers I was in for a special treat... back in December I'd had a really good day and ended up having a little dance battle (few meters apart) with the lead dancer Ariel. Till I noticed she got a bit pissed off because she's used to ALL the attention. I of course stopped back then, but I think she had kept me on a special list for a while. We met in passing a few times and got back to friendly terms since "my girl" knows her for years.
But on Saturday Ariel at some point stopped dancing with her GF, and left her cage, and just started dancing next to me looking me in the eyes (with her pinpoint white contacts...) till I just let my arms fall down and laughingly gestured I can't possibly dance anymore because she's making my heart stop at will. She smiled contently and went back to her cage and her GF. What a way to take revenge, and make peace. All for having taken a bit of attention 6 months back. (and I had even thought we're just playing back then).
A mere 45KG of woman, but you can very much tell she's used to have men to her feet - every night after all :-)
I've definitely been pwned there, but also find it kinda cool since it's a bit of the "welcome to the family" thing?
After that stupid fight at the party's car park some guy was kind enough to give me a ride to the train station - he said it was his second time in his life that he got to speak english for an actual reason (he was quite a good speaker, super rare in italy!)
Then I waited for just like 3 hours to get to verona and into my train home.
While waiting (and not quite sober) I decided I just had to keep dancing. I remembered a girl I had met during my italian class in Rome had said she'd like to see me dance. So I took a video of only my shadow while I was dancing in the sun. I thought... "cool, I can keep that promise, but also do it in a nice way that doesn't feel super flirty (explained in a moment)" and sent it to her at like 7am...
The night after I sent the video, she retuned the favour with a "I can't sleep" pic taken in her bed ^^. And she's been saying more nice things thereafter. It felt a bit like I'm on the other end of what I'd usually send to my crush? ...which is why I'm afraid that this one's got a crush on me.
If so, the girl of course has picked the wrong guy at the worst possible time in his life??
So I shouldn't invite her over to show her my town and be with someone for a few nights. In that regard, every male friend tells me I'm an idiot. IDK. I liked her, it would be great. I'm not sure I can lie to my conscience with stuff like "she's a grown up, it's her business". But I might be considering it a bit, since we could be having a lot of fun together. There's definitely a nice attraction and we both can't just cut out the contact.
It's just that she doesn't know abt my crush since I didn't like introduce to my language class and says "oh it's because i'm playing court-the-girl-that-won't-say-yes like it's 1890"... So... if she'd have any larger plans for this she'd end up in a bad place.
I'm also aware that anything I could bring up to say why it's a stupid idea if she'd try to win me over is something that my crush could also tell me. But I've decided it's not a problem because I'm definitely planning to be the most stubborn person in _this_ single aspect.
In summary: I spent time with some friends, and also with some breathtakingly beautiful women and still completely, utterly fail at managing it in any way that ends up in me having a date.
but there was some awesome music, and it was super worth it.
I hope some of you got a smile of my newest story :)
