darkbeforedawn

A friend of mine, the bassist for my brothers band, hung himself last night.
I cant get my head around it.
I dont even know what to write, but i feel like I have to write something.
I cant stop myself thinking about the stuff that he done last night. Ive never really thought about it before now, how youd have to plan everything out just before you do it, go get something to use, pick somewhere to do it. I cant stop thinking about what must have been going through his head.
Hed been having a rough time of it, lost his job, been drinking alot, got arrested for fighting. And we hung out last weekend, and even then he seemed down, depressed, quieter than normal.
He spent a lot of time, sitting thinking that night, I just assumed about all the stuff that was going on in his life, Im now wondering if he was thinking about doing this.

Fuck.

I feel sick.