Oh my god! Sara and I were talking tonight. I was feeling like an ass cause I haven't been to see Jessica's little brother since she killed herself. He called and it was kinda ugly. Then when I talked to Sara later I was gonna meet her for a little bit. Then she started freaking out. She was crying and she wouldn't say a word to me. Then her battery died. I finally got a hold of her after a bit and she sounded a little better. But I am just tore up inside. I feel for her so bad. She is going through so much right now and I feel I am only making it worse. I wish there was something I could do for her that would make it better. I WOULD DO ANYTHING AT ALL IN THE WORLD FOR HER!! I told her that I don't care what it is, if she needs it or just wants it done then it will be done. I didn't tell her but even if she needs me to disappear I would do it. It's just got me all fucked up and I want to scream at the top of my lungs. I shouldn't feel sorry for loving her. But I kinda do. Then again I always think things are my fault. Who knows, maybe it isn't JUST me but everything. If there is anything she needs she will have it though. God I am all fucked up right now. Wish the both of us luck will you all. Thank you so much and take care everyone.
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