hmmm Like I had said I know that this is not going to be easy. Especially since I Love this woman so much. Sara needs her time to be dumb and fuck around and figure things out in herself. I have afforded her the time she so wants right now. I know that she has been dating a guy named Joe that I work with. I knew this long before she told me. I could just feel it. I have always been very attuned to the people I love. Yesterday I happened to notice the hickey on his neck and it just tore me asunder. I began thinking a million things. I know Sara cares for me, but I am not too positive as to what way. I feel she hasen't started anything with me in that manner because she is afraid it is too soon and it would end up not working out. At least I really hope that is it. Because I gave her this time not just to be understanding but also because I REALLY want this to work out. I want her to answere some questions for herself and see that WE would be the best thing for her. I have never felt this way before. Less selfish. I want to be with her because I see I make her happy and I can make things better. Not because she makes me feel so damn wonderful just at the thought of her. I want to give her wings again. I just want it done right. I wish it weren't so fucking agonizing. And I love Joe too. I think he is a really good guy and I wish him the world of happiness. Just not what makes me so happy. I am afraid Sara is going to fall for him and I will become just a good friend. Always hurting inside when we meet or go do things together. FUCK I AM SO PATHETIC!!!! I wish I could have control over this, but she is truly the only woman for me. I have never simply been in love with somone in this way. Fallen in love yes, but not meeting someone and feeling as if I have loved them my whole life. It is very rare and I don't want to loose it.
Thanks for giving me the time everyone, I REALLY appreciate it sooooo very much. Keep wishing me luck. Maybe it will actually have an effect to affect change over the lack of control I seem to have.
Sincerely, Ron.
Thanks for giving me the time everyone, I REALLY appreciate it sooooo very much. Keep wishing me luck. Maybe it will actually have an effect to affect change over the lack of control I seem to have.
Sincerely, Ron.
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and i miss ya too.
just been exhausted and ... busy.
be well and thank you for being around to talk to. later days
no you're not.
sometimes it is so amazing to lose yourself in this sweet sweet feeling.....you should wish for it to never end,dont wish you can control it.
the fact that you cant control it makes it 10 times better