darkangelazrael

So I have not updated in quite a while. A lot has happened. I have not drank a drop of alcohol in about 2 months. I move back in with my parents about 5 months ago to help with my father who was quite ill at that time. My father passed away on Halloween day. I haven't left the house much accept for once maybe during the night time. My mom gets weird after nightfall. I had to leave work early the other day because I just didn't feel right at all. I miss doing karaoke once or twice a week. I miss Melanie. Kinda have a little crush on her. But the worst part is Sara. I still love her as much if not more than I ever have. But she is too afraid of doing ANYTHING with me. I call her and she asks if she can call back almost right away. And of course she never does. Then I find out that she has herself a new boyfriend just yesterday. Something I am sure she didn't tell me in fear of my being hurt or possibly mad or something like that. I know she is young and can't get her head or heart to jump certain hurdles yet. I am being forever just patient. Today I am dropping by and letting her know that I am not mad, maybe somewhat hurt, but not mad. And that she can do her thing all she wants but I just don't want to be shut out. I can't be. It's the one true way she is going to loose the best thing that could ever happen to her. I NEED to at least still be considered a friend and let in. Maybe invited to a party or two. Go see a flick. She can come watch me get my new tattoo on Friday. SOMETHING!!!! ANYTHING!!!!! After loosing Jessica, Kevin, Dave,Josh,Andrew my nephew Chris and now my father all this last year or so........Fuck i just can't loose more of the people I love. Especially if they aren't even dead. I hope it can be salvaged. I would wait for her as long as it takes. Till all the stars burn themselves out. But if she is going to do this to me continuously, then I definitely will not wait for anyone every again. I can't wait to get my new tattoo this coming Friday. Maybe I will feel a little better after that new tattoo smell permeates the room and the pain starts to kick in. Thanks for reading my rants guys and I hope you have a great rest of the weekend. Take care.

Sincerely, Ron.