darcy

I went to a couple weird shows this week. Friday nite I saw Against Me! which was kind of disappointing. The band was good but the crowd was a bunch of obnoxious jerks and I got shoved around and crushed by a bunch of huge boys. I was not feeling the community lovin' that Against Me! are all about. Tonight I went to a house show where Life At These Speeds played. The band was really good but socially I felt really uncomfortable. The punk scene is starting to seem more and more like high school. I'm caught in an uncomfortable place: I've lost patience with the shortcomings of the punk community, but I'm still too crass and angry and broke to grow up and become a trendy, bar hopping, car driving hipster. I'm sure there's a middle ground somewhere but it seems like everyone I know is just trying to do one or the other. I feel like a cultural adolescent. It's so frustrating because I feel like a bossy, snobby, killjoy square around my punk friends and roommates, but I feel like some sort of unsophisticated, dorky, dumb oogle punk around my more debonair friends.

Anyway, it hasn't been much of an issue because apart from going out now and then, I've been enjoying avoiding people altogether by staying in my room and reading all the time. It's like in that song... um, how does it go... "I have my books and my poetry to protect me. I am shielded in my armor. um... hiding in my room, safe within my womb, I touch no one and no one touches me..." something like that. No, not Moz - Simon & Garfunkle, the original goths! Yes, I shamelessly quoted Simon & Garfunkle. So punch me. Nevertheless, I often find my mind coming back to that song, as it has perfectly described my emotional state on so many occasions. I am a rock.

Oh yeah, and Friday after the show I went to a party and danced with a really cute boy. Hopefully when he finds out I am a misanthropic freak (and a suicide girl), he will think it makes me sophisticated and foxy and intriguing. I mean, Dorothy Parker was a misanthropic freak, and she got hella play.

Some crazy drunk dudes just came in and they want you to know that Fall Of The Bastards and Human Shield are the best bands in Portland. And also the best looking bands in Portland.

The End