Comparing ourselves

19

This is such a hard topic to me. The best part about sg to me, is we don't have to compare girls to each other. Yet there is competition. You ladies do a wonderful job supporting each other. As a male, i find males like to compare ourselves to peers in terms of financial and career success. So stupid, just a natural tendancy that is disastrous to the evil that is our ego.

Your ego is not you however. It is sort of your mental enemy. And sadly, in our society (at least in america), we seem to be trained to do everything comparatively. It hurts women so much in body image. You are all beautiful and unique. There is no best sg. You might have favorites for most beautiful, best art, best body, nicest ass. You might have heroes you aspire to be with regard to attitude, poses, features, piercings. The best part about it to me is you are all lovable no matter what. Your value is not just in appearance. You are by majority, aware of this ego and body image problem. It's a celebration of the differences and the uniqueness in biology on the physical side. Your blogs teach the heart and mind, likes and dislikes. But there is a judging aspect to it. Hard to avoid. Self acceptance is the secret of life. We are all worth love and admiration.

VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
quandi:
Wow, thank you for all of this. Vulnerability is strength, and I am grateful for your wisdom. 💗 Happy belated birthday!! You did it--you kicked another year's ass! That's an accomplishment on this crazy planet. And my heart goes out to the sweet 11 year old who felt different and the strong man he became. Consciousness is key. 
dansiego3:
Oh thank you sweety, @rosegold.  We all have perceived flaws, i have many limitations and it is only through struggles with negative self talk alot of drugs and therapy and some unique traumas i came to awareness of certain things in life.  I struggle with self esteem as a born perfectionist.  My wife has a cryptic allergy. Sometimes i think she’s allergic to me.  But mindfulness is a wonderful discovery.  Simple tricks of mind management can help anyone be free of their pain the brain often inflicts on us.  Mostly?  Just because the world has changed full of man’s creations and we need to constantly filter and bias just to try to stay sane and not overload with all the stimuli.  But i have learned if you teach it to people it helps release pain and allows joy to be felt under almost any circumstance if you practice it well.  One aspect of this new philosophy?  Comes from buddhism.  Try something simple.  Write in lipstick on your bathroom mirror three simple words.  “Are you sure?”  We are never sure.  There is no such thing as perfection.  We can only control our own behavior and sometimes not even that.  Future uncertain always.  Past punishes us with bad memories guilt and pain.  If you just focus on trying to do your best today.  No one can expect more of you, including our sometimes poisonous minds.  Self acceptance is a lifelong goal.  Try to get there as early as you can.  With you.  Your kids.  Your interpersonal relationships.  It will help to dissociate emotion from your relationships if you can.  No control ever.  Except your choice on whether you believe your thoughts at times of stress.  Your thoughts are not you, they are just a reflection on the stress of life inside your head.  Fight or flight always keeps our brains ready for the tiger around the corner that might eat us.  Except there are not so many natural threats anymore.  So our brains try to compensate.  And throw constant bullshit at us inside our heads.  You can beat that fucker if you have patience and learn how to control your breathing.  Relax.  Do life.  Do yoga.  Enjoy nature while we still have it.

More Blogs