I was hoping to put this update off until things had dramatically improved in my life. However, its now been a month since the Americorp incident and I still do not have a steady job and its honestly starting to pull me down quiet a bit. This entire year, so far, has been a period of stagnation; it seems as if I am never advancing in any direction, and it is starting to eat away at me.
Naturally I have been attempting to fend off anger. Although I would not consider myself an angry person in the normal sense of the word, I have been prone to it in the past. I thrive off of causes, and the rightious fury that they often produce. However, in this case, I can not help but feel that getting angry would be the worst possible move upon my part. Such a fury has a tendency of eating away at someone from the inside out if it does not have a target; and right now, I have no target within reach which I could direct it at. As a result, I am trying to remain cool, calm, and logical in my persuing of a new job.
The problem is, of course, that there really are few jobs open to me. I am a trained educator and it is now so late within the hiring cycle that I could very easily find myself without a teaching job for the next school year. This means working at mediocre jobs until something else lines up; something which will not further my career in the least. Of course, even such a job is proving difficult to come by: I live in Madison, which is a city populated by smart educated people. There by, all of the jobs which smart educated people(such as myself) would wish to have, are already filled up. This leaves your typical McDonalds or Wal-Mart type position; which really will not work, as I can not make enough money at them in order to pay rent/student loans/what ever other costs feel free to appear.
To make matters even worse, I have never been unemployed for this long before. I can't understand people who don't like to work. It it seriously eating away at me that I have accomplished so little in the past few weeks. I have nothing to do, I am contributing nothing to society. It makes me feel so useless.
I just feel so absolutely frustrated right now. I move to a city for a job, and they then leave my high and stranded after only a few weeks. I have no recourse in order to get another job with the same organization as such jobs do not exist, the taking of said job has made it difficult to get something within by own field. I am royally screwed, and I really see no way out of it.
Also, if someone else tells me "Things happen for a reason, I'm sure a better option will come along", I will scream. Such is cotton candy theology, and I will have none of it!
(This post was going to contain many Star Wars Episode III referances, but I couldn't fit them in. Oh well. Although I WILL say, that I am understanding Anakin more and more as the days roll by)
Go out and do things for yourself while looking for a job, go jogging, play a sport you love, listen to music you like, that may cheer you up!!!