dannydmc

I am so fucking lonely right now that its not even funny. I haven't been to a movie ever since I left Marquette, and the last time that I cracked open a beer with anyone who wasn't my Mother was at about the same time.
I've been student teaching for going on two weeks now; and I keep thinking that this is all going to get better at any moment except that is doesn't. I made a mistake in coming back to this shit hole of a town; I see that now. I should have tried to stay in the UP one way or another; my friends are there, my teachers are there, my entire fucking support network is there. Instead, like an idiot, I decided to come back 'home'; it would be less money I said, it would be easier that way I said. It was a god damned idiot.
My placement school is trying to play games with me. According to Northern my student teaching is supposed to end on December 14th so I can graudate; Wausau West wants me to stay over a month later until January 22nd. They have done this without contacting my university and now claim that its either their way or the highway; I can stay that long or I can leave. Fuckers.
Worst yet is that I don't have anyone who I can talk to about any of this. Every time I try to just tell people in my family how I'm feeling I get either blank responses..or nothing at all. Even my Father just changed the subject when I try to broach it. I just feel so fucking isolated and alone out here; which is the one thing that I can't stand.
And I'm getting really sick and tired of everyone trying to tel lme that I can't do this and I can't do that. Lord forbid, it seems, that I speak my mind on anything. Lord forbid I do anything that I want to do. What ever decisions I make are the wrong ones and just end up with either a curt disagreement or a long lecture; the main point of it being "Your inexperienced and don't know what the fuck your talking about. Its actually funny to hear your opinions because they mean next to nothing". People I know seem to be mistaking me for a 12 year old child who is in constant need of reproachment.
God I miss my college; I miss my friends and I miss my environment. This one isn't mine; I'm the constant outsider here which I always ways and, it seems, always will be. Fuck Wausau, Fuck Central Wisconsin and fuck everyone who seems to think that I can be their kicking boy.

On a side note; I'm not sure if anyone will read this and comment on it. People don't really ever seem to read my journal or comment on its contents; no matter how many other journals I myself comment on *sigh*