dannydmc

Alright, it is now a fact: I seem to be being taken over by my 16 year old self! The damn bastard is influencing my thoughts, and driving my totally crazy. GAHHHHHH!!!!

*gasps for air*

Alright, let me clear this up; I am NOT having a schizophrenic episode...at least not as far as I am aware Here is what is happening.

A few months ago I met a girl at work who I really liked; she was intelligent, witty and, as far as I was concerned, very attractive. The only problem was that she was dating a guy and had been for the past few years.

About a month ago or so she break up with him, it seems that he was slurring her behind her back. The two of us had gone out once or twice before then but it was been strictly as friends; I'd fallen into the old trap of falling for a girl who was with another guy before and had thought that I'd grown to the point where I could put the kibosh on such emotions before they began. To to the credit of my self-control, I was right

Anyway, after she breaks up with the guy I ask her out. Once again, this is a friend thing; I've learned in the past that girls do NOT go for the nice guy who is always there when they need a shoulder to cry on. Despite that, she looked as if she could use somone to talk to and so, being very selfless I assure you, I invited her out, knowingly sacrificing my "datability ranking" in the quest to just being able to look at myself in the mirror.

We go out and...I don't really know what it was. It started out with the two of us just hanging out, but by the end of the night it seemed as if it had begun to turn into a date(we stayed at a local restraunt until about 12:15 at night when we left since she had to be at work earlier than me). From my point of view it seemed as if I was getting some vibes. Maybe wishful thinking on my part, I suppose, but I'd been only in the 'friendship mode' up until this point, so I wasn't really expecting much.

Ok, I haven't seen her in the past few days, but there is a chance that she likes me(a mutual friend of ours also gave me a wink,wink, nod,nod when we asked how good of a time we'd had the night before). I feel good.....far too good in my own opinion; there is now way in hell that I'd letting myself getting carried away and allow myself to fall for this girl if it turns out she doesn't like me in return! I begin to tell myself to back off a bit........I got my wish.

You see, when I was in High School I had nicht luck with girls. My entire love life revolved around being intensly in love(as only a romantic 16 year old can be) with a friend of mine who turned me away at every chance she could. As a result throughout those four years my self confidence when it came to girls went through the floor, through the basement and, when I last checked, was doing its best to tunnel its way to China. Although I have not been all that successful in College either, I had thought that I had exocized those demonds long ago and had gained a measure of confidence and even some charm(I am a huge flirt; not a GOOD one I'll admit, but I make up for skill with massive ammounts of effort )

Sadly, my wishing to stop myself from getting carried away seems to have opened up a gateway into another level of my psyche where demonic 16-year-old Dan sat, not dead, but simply biding his time(and not doubt playing Magic cards with other demons and reading comic books) and waiting for a chance to return to the physical world. My cries of moderation seem to have been all he needed for he's back!

I didn't realize it at first, but he must have been around for a day or so. All I know is that he waited for the chance to strike; that chance being the realization that another girl I work with has a boyfriend. Under normal circumstances this would not be a huge deal; lots of girls have boyfriends. However, this just happens to be a girl who I had become convinced actually really had a thing for me. Girl 2 wasn't quiet my type, I'll admit, but its always nice having someone like to and, I figured, I might ask her out one day.

Once the relvelation of G2's (live-in!)boyfriend struck, Dan16 made his move. I suddenly found myself trapped in an alien logic-circle: if I was 'sure' that G2 liked me, but she didn't(as evidenced by the presence of a boyfriend) it stands to reason that G1 could not POSSIBLY like me! After all, I was unsure of her liking me in the first place while I was positive of G2 liking me.......and so on and on it went throughout the rest of my shift, driving me into a sort of malaise(although not a bad one)

So, your most likely wondering after reading this, what am I really trying to say here? Here we go:

I seem to have become smitten with a girl who I THINK likes me in return. However, it was jsut revealed that I girl I was sure who liked me does not. There for if I was wrong about something I am sure about, I must in fact be wrong about something I am only 'kinda, maybe, sure' about. As a result, I feel kinda crappy all of a sudden.

Gahhhhhh; I am SUCH a loser