I can't really talk about work on here, because of certain legal issues. It sucks. But I can say that its been a long week. We suffered from a wind storm last night which, I was sure, was going to knock my house over. Power went out about 2 PM and didn't come back until past 7; then it went out again several hours later and kept flickering on and off all during the night. Its a good thing that I woke up later on to realize my clock was flashing or I'd have never gotten up on time.
Shit week. Shit, shit week. I'm lonely; not that this is anything new up here either. I get done with work, I come home, I read or listen to music all night and spend time on the internet talking to my friends. Unfortunately, they have all been absent from the net in recent days as well so I've had nothing to do but stew in my own juices; never a good situation to be in. I hate feeling like this; I'm usually a very optimistic person (although you might not get that from these journals) but this seems meloncholly seems to have become my dominant mood for the past two years or so. I'm sure there will be a time I'll look back on all of this and be able to see the good in it; but that time isn't right now.
Jung once said something along the lines of; when we are in a situation where there is NO good option to take, then we are forced to simply act and bear the weight of our decisions. That is the point where we learn the most about ourselves and grow stronger. I have a gut feeling that this is true, but damned if I know what I've learned at this point. It just seems like a steady stream of shit flying at me at all times, and Its really beginning to make me angry. I just wish there was some escape closer to me than that which exists.
Oh well, on the bright side, I've been over three weeks without a cigarette now. I've stuck with cigars for the time being, although I smoked the last one tonight; the way the weather has been, who knows when my next box will arrive. I should be hearing from my grad schools soon, and I pray that the news is good. I need to move on to my next adventure, and hope its better, but I'm still not sure if the gatekeepers will let me move on.
Oh well, off to listen to more music. I've been in a real Nirvana mood lately. .