dannydmc

I have been sitting here, trying to think of the correct words to start this journal for some time; its currently 1:42 in the morning according to my helpful computer clock, and so my brain is currently passing into that stage where it is at its most creative, but also where it is beginning to get a bit sluggish. I love this time of the day; I've taken to telling people lately that the only part of the morning which I like is that period from 1-3 directly following midnight. Being teachers, they just look at my oddly; but then, to be honest with you, they do that no matter what I say. Being the Brat Prince of the teaching staff has its advantages, but also disadvantages.
Yesterday I was sitting out on my porch smoking a cigarette and berating myself for not being able to quiet as well as I'd like to, when suddenly I was nearly attacked by a gang of young girls! Seeing me smoking they charged up onto my front porch and began to cough theatically, and then struck me head on with a barrage of questioning about WHY I am smoking. I answered them rather honestly as I am wont to due, and was fully expecting the next move; they demanded I quit, on the spot. "Throw it away, and never smoke another one", a 7 year old girl demanded, "Yes, don't you know that smoking is bad", a 6 year old sounded. This went on for what seemed like forever but, in fact, must have been only five minutes.
I am not ashamed to say that i was momentarily taken aback; as one who respects the feminine power in all of its manifestations I knew to respect these young girls. If I didn't, they might put some evil woman curse on me! I was glad when they changed the subject and instead began to chide me for violating the Yup'ik gender roles (they didn't use that term) by growing my hair long. Ah! Back on solid footing, once again! I countered that where I grew up, guys could grow their hair long; and told them that they should cut their hair! They looked at me incredulously. "I'm going to go get my beard trimmer, and shave all of your heads", I stated. "No!", they all cried in unison, in that cute way that only little kids will do, before laughing.
If the smoking incident filled me with fear, however, what followed next was twice as disturbing! Yupik men have difficulties growing facial hair, you will see some teenagers walking around with 4 or 5 hairs growing out of their chin which they cultivate with care and claim that they have a beard. As a proud German/Polish/Irishman I've got a very nice long flowing mustache going, along with the long hair (I'm going for the Vercingtorix look). Next thing I know, one of the girls asks if she can feel my moustache. Before I can say anything, I suddenly have five girls (the youngest being 5, the oldest 12) pawing up my face, pulling on my mustache and my hair! My first thought was; I need to get out of here before they tear me apart. My second thought was: I wish girls my own age where this interested in my hair; my love life might be a lot easier!
I was finally able to run back into my house, shaking my head, and wondering why it was that I'm teaching High School instead of Elementary; the young kids in this village seem to really like me for some reason!

There, this was going to be a journal about how I just found out that one of my brightest students in pregnant (the 4th student of mine who is going to have a kid in the last year and a half...and, yes, I teach 15-18 year olds), snarling that some of the brightest girls in this village make the stupidest mistakes, and also bemoaning the fact that apparently my students are getting a hell of a lot more action than _I_ ever will up here. I like the story I told better though; its much funnier