dannydmc

I've decided to take a short break from writing my biography for the time being; I figure that there is at least one or two posts left in it, and that writing them would take a bit more effort that I currently wish to expend. Also, I've noticed that since I started there has been a lull in the amount of posts I've been getting to my blog; no doubt the casual reader didn't want to have to make his or her way through the posts which were, lets face it, incredibly long. For those of you who did, I wanted to thank you, and for those who posted your encouragements, I want to thank you doubly. It all started out as a fun little writing exercise, an attempt to look at my own personality as impartailly as I could and so far its been a success. Interestingly enough, I've learned quiet a bit about myself as I've been working through it all.
Anyway, as I said, this should be a hopefully shorter and more casual post. I hope; I'm feeling a tad bit long winded at the moment

I seem to have found myself in a rather bad spot this week, and I'm not entirely sure why. I've been tired, snippy, and rather pissed off ever since last weekend. Part of it has been that I was sick; I came down with a nasty little cold on Sunday and I'm finally starting to shake the cough right now. Secondly, I've been trying to quit smoking for the second time, and its been proving much harder this time around than the first; I've managed to get myself down to one cigarette a day and have made steady progress in switching to cigars instead which I think I've got a better grasp of and which also seem healthier as at least they won't burn my lungs away from the inside out. Finally, there is my job.
I've been giving it a lot of thought lately, and I think I've decided that I simply do not like teaching; especially in the Alaskan bush. Its not that I don't like kids, if nothing else I've learned that I really do like them in fact, and I've long since lost my aloofness around them. Its not that I don't like seeing people learn and helping them; there are few things in the world that I like more.

My first two classes of the day are good, I was even happily suprised to see that several of my students not only 'got' the "Scarlet Ibis" but even seemed to LIKE it. But my last class is horrible; there is a group of willfully ignorant sociopaths-in-the-making who sit in the back of the class, refuse to accept any authority, and have decided to make not only my life miserable but also that of all the other students in the class.
One of them had the nerve to tell me the other day that I didn't scare him, and so I might as well stop trying. Scare him! Ha! He'd be scared if he understood just how hard its become to keep my temper in check, just how much effort I expend at his expense every day in order to make sure that his desk doesn't go hurtling through the giant window in my room(I LOVE that window! Last year my classroom didn't have one, and so I cherish being able to actually look outside this year. AH, the small pleasures!)
And this, right here, is what is worrying me most. I have a temper, I always have, blame it on me being Irish, being raised a McCollum, or being dropped on my head as child, I don't care, but its been there as long as I can remember. I'm usually able to keep a straight face, deal with it, and not give into it; even without seeing Star Wars I could have told you long ago that down that path awaits the Dark Side But its been much harder this week; I've been finding myself becoming short with people and down right snippy! I am NEVER snippy!! I actually snarled at the Dean's secretary the other day, and I like her a lot, she's a great woman!
Damn, I just want to get through this year and back to my own culture and away from this place. I'll miss the people when I'm gone, I'll miss the village, and I'll even miss parts of the life here; but this isn't a healthy place for me; I can see that now. GAHHHHH!!!