More excerts from my future biography 
Further exerts from "America's Little Giant"
... Dan McCollum's semester abroad to Ireland proved to be one of the most successful and happiest times in his life. It would mark the first of several trips to Europe in his life, the place where he would meet two of his greatest friends; Douglas Webb and Jack Guinan, and would inaugerate one of the greatest periods of growth in his young life.
Even before the trip began, Dan had high expectations of the semester; he had just completed a very long and difficult semester at Northern Michigan University which had seen him move out of the dorms and away from the warm social atmosphere which he had nurtured the year prior, as well a period of relative poverty due to an inability to find a job. Furthermore, having grown up with a passionately Irish American Father, the chance to visit the "motherland" as he had taken to refering to the island nation proved to be the cumulation of a life long dream. Even in High School, during times of stress and sorrow, he would often dream of traveling to Ireland and finally finding a place where he would be accepted and where he would feel comfortable. As prosiac as these adolecent longings might seem, the dream largely proved to be true; although for reasons which, as a teenager, he would not have been able to understand or even anticipate.
A very nervous but determined Dan left Chicago's O'Hare airport in January of 2003; although he was terrified of be leaving home and unsure of what awaited him, he was also terribly excited at the adventure which seemed to be awaiting him.
Those months in Ireland would become a turning point in young McCollum's life. Although still desperately unsure of his own abilities, both socially and in regards to life skills, he soon managed to acquire a number of friends within his group of American aquitences. Of these, the most important were the previously mentioned Doug Webb and Jack Guinan.
Dan would later claim that he had first talked to Doug while sitting in a bank in Maynooth, Ireland while waiting to cash a travelers check with several other students. Doug would never remember this first encounter, saying that he first noticed Dan because they sat next to one another in several classes at the University. What ever the truth may be, it can't be denied that Doug made the first move in instigating the friendship by inviting Dan on a trip to the Scottish Highlands; he apparently made the other because Dan appeared to be the only other one in the group who seemed as interested in travel as he did. Dan himself would later claim that he wasn't sure what made him take up the offer; he was still in the practice of acting very cautiously, but he suspected that maybe the atmosphere of adventure, and the desire to fully exploit all of the oppertunities of the semester, caused him to accept.
What followed was a whirl wind tour of Scotland where everything which could go wrong apparently did. The two were unsure of how to drive on the British system of roads which lead to at least one close accident, were unaware that the traffic signs were listed in miles per hour and not kilometers, the pair had their lives threatened by a gang of young Scottish boys, Dan's credit card was not accepted at bost businessess. To make matters worse, Doug was desperately ill with a cold which he claimed was the worst in his entire life.
It was an odd begining to a truly great friendship. Truly, due to the personalitieis involved, it should not have worked. Doug was a confident, well connected young man(he had family members in both the FBI and CIA), handsome and impulsive. Dan was still struggling to find his own place in the world, admitted a strong dislike for "coast society", was pushy at times, and possessed deep questions about his own abilities. Both were arduently liberal, however, deeply fascinated with politics and history and foresaw a life for themselves in public service.
Perhaps the reason the friendship worked as well as it did was these differences in personality. Dan felt most comfortable in the public spot light and was driven to excell, Doug often admitted that he enjoyed being the proverbial power behind the throne. Doug was laid back and secure, where as Dan was known for his high strung personality and his constant efforts to prove himself. What ever the reasons for its success, it simply was, and Dan would list Doug as one of his greatest friends and closest advisors for years to come. At one point he, only half jokingly, told Doug that he would make him his Chief of Staff when he had become President.
He was, most likely, only half joking. Although Dan would often claim that his first inspiration to enter politics had been the election of 2000, this is not the entire truth. In fact, he would also often tell others that, at the age of 5, he had told his Mother he wanted to be President, and that the desire had never truly left him. In fact, Dan had been interested in politcs from a very young age; as far back as elementary school he would often discuss the topic with teachers in the school. The reasons for this obsession are not clear and can only be pieced together by the arduent biographer; however, it is the opinion of this writer that there was not one, but several foundations.
First would seem to be that Dan had always felt a strong urge to be at the forefront of the world stage; he was first and foremost a historian, and the prospect of being remembered and remembered well by future generations must have intrigued him to say the least. Secondly, even as a young child he had always seen himself as a knight of sorts, willing to stand up for what was right; he felt very strongly throughout his life that he understood the problems of the world and if given a chance, he would be able to fix them. Thirdly, much of it might well stem from the dissapointments of his early years; having seen himself ignored by many of his peers, ostrocized and seen as 'weird', his political aspirations might well have been an attempt to finally gain their acceptence and love while, at the same time, reaching a hight of power upon which they could no longer hurt him or ignore his existence.
Finally, as in most things in Dan's life, politics seem to ride hand in hand with his relationship with his Father. The elder McCollum was an intensely political man, an arduent Irish Republican and 60's radical, he had taught the the son that the government was a corrupt institution but that strong willed men and women could rise above it and help the people of the nation. The elder had never sought political office, due in large part as Dan later commented "to my Father's belief that he had to many skeltons in his closet]. A career in politics might well offer the young McCollum two oppertunities; to follow a career which he felt his Father should have persued but was unable to, and to also surpass the elder by reaching a level which he had never been able to do.
Determined to follow this course, Dan began to surround himself with people who not only had the same aspirations, but who also felt that he could accomplish his goals. Doug was only the first of those he met in Ireland; the second was Jack Guinan. Guinan was the son of a prominant figure in Washington DC society; the elder Guinan was the President of the "DC As the 51st State" movement as the operator of several homeless shelters in the city. Jack showed every desire to follow in his own Father's footsteps, he would later work in a peace group in Derry, Norther Ireland, and showed the same passion for politics which drove both Dan and Doug. These three would stay close even after leaving Ireland, occasionally traveling to meet one another and exchanging long betters inbetween those times.
It would be an exageration to say that the only lessons, or even the most important ones, Dan learned in Ireland were political. Instead it was the simple companionship which seems to have effected him the most. He had finally, after years, found a group of friends who did not view him as 'odd' or 'strange' or who viewed his goals as unattainable. He was now the member of a group who shared his same ideals and who were willing to encourage him to meet them.
As a result Dan finally found himself able to relax many of the defences he had long ago thrown up to defend himself. He indulged in late night drinking bouts with his friends at the local pubs, traveled across the country sometimes by himself and sometimes with company, became unofficial story and joke teller of the community and relished in it. By the time Easter came in 2003, he was feeling confident enough, despite several misgivings, to travel to Munich, Germany by himself; a trip which he would remember fondly years later. The Munich trip confirmed many of the things about himself which he was begining to suspect; that he could survive almost any situation and that when relaxed he was a genuinly likable person. No sooner had be stepped foot in his hostel in Munich than made several friends amongst the fellow travlers there, including a young woman who apparently asked him to travel with her the next day and which lead to a short travle romance which he would remember for the rest of his life.
The later event had a very discernable impact on the young man. McCollum's love life had always been lackluster to say the least, a fact which caused him no small amount of embarrassment. As an adolecent he had fallen for a young girl in his class, Donelle Ostrowski. Donelle was a wildly passionate girl, intelligent, determined, tempermental, and from his discussions about her years later, it would seem that it was love at first sight. From 7th grade until his graduated from High School, Dan chased after the young woman unsuccessfully. Although he must have known that the cause was lost early on, his Romantic nature made it impossible to disengage until finally he moved away to High School. This one sided romance left many scars which were slow to heal; by the end he had become largely convinced that he was undesirable as a mate and not good enough to hold a woman's attention.
Although this view was shaken by several dating experiences in High School, his luck was still not good. His Sophomore year a girl he had dated began to publicly state that he had tried to force himself on her; although he arduently defended him from the accusations, he was left turned off of dating for sometime afterwards. Ireland would change this, and he had more romantic successes during his Senior year at college, graduation saw another bout of bad luck as he was left poor, and later, isolated while teaching in the Yup'ik Eskimo village of Kipnuk, Alaska.
What is the reason for his lack of success? It seems likely that despite a renewed out going nature, several character traits continued to doom McCollum for years. He had still not given up all of his reserved qualities, something which made him difficult to get to know at times, he possessed a tendency of isolating himself from others during times of stress. Perhaps most damningly was that he was secretly intimidated by women in general. Dan seems to have been attracted to women who were very strong willed, a trait which he would later claim he held in common with "every other McCollum male"; he was intrinsically aware of the power that they held over him and he was both drawn and repelled by this very fact. Still in the process of defining himself and learning to stand on his own two feet he was terrified of falling under the sway of another's personality, especially one which would leave him weakened. By the time that these notions began to weaken and he began to actively persue women, he was forced to isolate himself in order to make a living; he would later say that the years he spent teaching where some of the lonliest of his entire life.
Dan's experiences in Ireland did much to strengthen him, and to reassure him of his own ability to not only succeed, but also to flourish in strange circumstances. It also marked the first time in years in which he could claim that he had more male friends than female; a fact which would have strong reprecusions for him in later years. Many of the lingering nervousness and doubts which had plagued him in the past had for the time dissapeared; he actively longed to return home and then to college and make his mark upon both places. All of this served him well, as his final year and a half in college would prove to be one of the busiest and hard working periods in his young life.
-------------------------------------
Alright, end part 3. You know, its funny, when I first had this idea I tohught it would be a relatively short post, and here I am on part three. Thanks for those of you who have been reading this and posting comments, its nice to know I'm not shouting into the wind. Also, thank you for putting up with this little pretension of mine; I hope that I'm painting my personality well here, and that I'm not coming off as too unlikable (although, I also hope that I'm being honest to myself as well; I don't want to paint over my bad traits, or to leave out my good). So, if you're reading this, why not drop me a line letting me knwo what you think or any suggestions you might have? Danke
Further exerts from "America's Little Giant"
... Dan McCollum's semester abroad to Ireland proved to be one of the most successful and happiest times in his life. It would mark the first of several trips to Europe in his life, the place where he would meet two of his greatest friends; Douglas Webb and Jack Guinan, and would inaugerate one of the greatest periods of growth in his young life.
Even before the trip began, Dan had high expectations of the semester; he had just completed a very long and difficult semester at Northern Michigan University which had seen him move out of the dorms and away from the warm social atmosphere which he had nurtured the year prior, as well a period of relative poverty due to an inability to find a job. Furthermore, having grown up with a passionately Irish American Father, the chance to visit the "motherland" as he had taken to refering to the island nation proved to be the cumulation of a life long dream. Even in High School, during times of stress and sorrow, he would often dream of traveling to Ireland and finally finding a place where he would be accepted and where he would feel comfortable. As prosiac as these adolecent longings might seem, the dream largely proved to be true; although for reasons which, as a teenager, he would not have been able to understand or even anticipate.
A very nervous but determined Dan left Chicago's O'Hare airport in January of 2003; although he was terrified of be leaving home and unsure of what awaited him, he was also terribly excited at the adventure which seemed to be awaiting him.
Those months in Ireland would become a turning point in young McCollum's life. Although still desperately unsure of his own abilities, both socially and in regards to life skills, he soon managed to acquire a number of friends within his group of American aquitences. Of these, the most important were the previously mentioned Doug Webb and Jack Guinan.
Dan would later claim that he had first talked to Doug while sitting in a bank in Maynooth, Ireland while waiting to cash a travelers check with several other students. Doug would never remember this first encounter, saying that he first noticed Dan because they sat next to one another in several classes at the University. What ever the truth may be, it can't be denied that Doug made the first move in instigating the friendship by inviting Dan on a trip to the Scottish Highlands; he apparently made the other because Dan appeared to be the only other one in the group who seemed as interested in travel as he did. Dan himself would later claim that he wasn't sure what made him take up the offer; he was still in the practice of acting very cautiously, but he suspected that maybe the atmosphere of adventure, and the desire to fully exploit all of the oppertunities of the semester, caused him to accept.
What followed was a whirl wind tour of Scotland where everything which could go wrong apparently did. The two were unsure of how to drive on the British system of roads which lead to at least one close accident, were unaware that the traffic signs were listed in miles per hour and not kilometers, the pair had their lives threatened by a gang of young Scottish boys, Dan's credit card was not accepted at bost businessess. To make matters worse, Doug was desperately ill with a cold which he claimed was the worst in his entire life.
It was an odd begining to a truly great friendship. Truly, due to the personalitieis involved, it should not have worked. Doug was a confident, well connected young man(he had family members in both the FBI and CIA), handsome and impulsive. Dan was still struggling to find his own place in the world, admitted a strong dislike for "coast society", was pushy at times, and possessed deep questions about his own abilities. Both were arduently liberal, however, deeply fascinated with politics and history and foresaw a life for themselves in public service.
Perhaps the reason the friendship worked as well as it did was these differences in personality. Dan felt most comfortable in the public spot light and was driven to excell, Doug often admitted that he enjoyed being the proverbial power behind the throne. Doug was laid back and secure, where as Dan was known for his high strung personality and his constant efforts to prove himself. What ever the reasons for its success, it simply was, and Dan would list Doug as one of his greatest friends and closest advisors for years to come. At one point he, only half jokingly, told Doug that he would make him his Chief of Staff when he had become President.
He was, most likely, only half joking. Although Dan would often claim that his first inspiration to enter politics had been the election of 2000, this is not the entire truth. In fact, he would also often tell others that, at the age of 5, he had told his Mother he wanted to be President, and that the desire had never truly left him. In fact, Dan had been interested in politcs from a very young age; as far back as elementary school he would often discuss the topic with teachers in the school. The reasons for this obsession are not clear and can only be pieced together by the arduent biographer; however, it is the opinion of this writer that there was not one, but several foundations.
First would seem to be that Dan had always felt a strong urge to be at the forefront of the world stage; he was first and foremost a historian, and the prospect of being remembered and remembered well by future generations must have intrigued him to say the least. Secondly, even as a young child he had always seen himself as a knight of sorts, willing to stand up for what was right; he felt very strongly throughout his life that he understood the problems of the world and if given a chance, he would be able to fix them. Thirdly, much of it might well stem from the dissapointments of his early years; having seen himself ignored by many of his peers, ostrocized and seen as 'weird', his political aspirations might well have been an attempt to finally gain their acceptence and love while, at the same time, reaching a hight of power upon which they could no longer hurt him or ignore his existence.
Finally, as in most things in Dan's life, politics seem to ride hand in hand with his relationship with his Father. The elder McCollum was an intensely political man, an arduent Irish Republican and 60's radical, he had taught the the son that the government was a corrupt institution but that strong willed men and women could rise above it and help the people of the nation. The elder had never sought political office, due in large part as Dan later commented "to my Father's belief that he had to many skeltons in his closet]. A career in politics might well offer the young McCollum two oppertunities; to follow a career which he felt his Father should have persued but was unable to, and to also surpass the elder by reaching a level which he had never been able to do.
Determined to follow this course, Dan began to surround himself with people who not only had the same aspirations, but who also felt that he could accomplish his goals. Doug was only the first of those he met in Ireland; the second was Jack Guinan. Guinan was the son of a prominant figure in Washington DC society; the elder Guinan was the President of the "DC As the 51st State" movement as the operator of several homeless shelters in the city. Jack showed every desire to follow in his own Father's footsteps, he would later work in a peace group in Derry, Norther Ireland, and showed the same passion for politics which drove both Dan and Doug. These three would stay close even after leaving Ireland, occasionally traveling to meet one another and exchanging long betters inbetween those times.
It would be an exageration to say that the only lessons, or even the most important ones, Dan learned in Ireland were political. Instead it was the simple companionship which seems to have effected him the most. He had finally, after years, found a group of friends who did not view him as 'odd' or 'strange' or who viewed his goals as unattainable. He was now the member of a group who shared his same ideals and who were willing to encourage him to meet them.
As a result Dan finally found himself able to relax many of the defences he had long ago thrown up to defend himself. He indulged in late night drinking bouts with his friends at the local pubs, traveled across the country sometimes by himself and sometimes with company, became unofficial story and joke teller of the community and relished in it. By the time Easter came in 2003, he was feeling confident enough, despite several misgivings, to travel to Munich, Germany by himself; a trip which he would remember fondly years later. The Munich trip confirmed many of the things about himself which he was begining to suspect; that he could survive almost any situation and that when relaxed he was a genuinly likable person. No sooner had be stepped foot in his hostel in Munich than made several friends amongst the fellow travlers there, including a young woman who apparently asked him to travel with her the next day and which lead to a short travle romance which he would remember for the rest of his life.
The later event had a very discernable impact on the young man. McCollum's love life had always been lackluster to say the least, a fact which caused him no small amount of embarrassment. As an adolecent he had fallen for a young girl in his class, Donelle Ostrowski. Donelle was a wildly passionate girl, intelligent, determined, tempermental, and from his discussions about her years later, it would seem that it was love at first sight. From 7th grade until his graduated from High School, Dan chased after the young woman unsuccessfully. Although he must have known that the cause was lost early on, his Romantic nature made it impossible to disengage until finally he moved away to High School. This one sided romance left many scars which were slow to heal; by the end he had become largely convinced that he was undesirable as a mate and not good enough to hold a woman's attention.
Although this view was shaken by several dating experiences in High School, his luck was still not good. His Sophomore year a girl he had dated began to publicly state that he had tried to force himself on her; although he arduently defended him from the accusations, he was left turned off of dating for sometime afterwards. Ireland would change this, and he had more romantic successes during his Senior year at college, graduation saw another bout of bad luck as he was left poor, and later, isolated while teaching in the Yup'ik Eskimo village of Kipnuk, Alaska.
What is the reason for his lack of success? It seems likely that despite a renewed out going nature, several character traits continued to doom McCollum for years. He had still not given up all of his reserved qualities, something which made him difficult to get to know at times, he possessed a tendency of isolating himself from others during times of stress. Perhaps most damningly was that he was secretly intimidated by women in general. Dan seems to have been attracted to women who were very strong willed, a trait which he would later claim he held in common with "every other McCollum male"; he was intrinsically aware of the power that they held over him and he was both drawn and repelled by this very fact. Still in the process of defining himself and learning to stand on his own two feet he was terrified of falling under the sway of another's personality, especially one which would leave him weakened. By the time that these notions began to weaken and he began to actively persue women, he was forced to isolate himself in order to make a living; he would later say that the years he spent teaching where some of the lonliest of his entire life.
Dan's experiences in Ireland did much to strengthen him, and to reassure him of his own ability to not only succeed, but also to flourish in strange circumstances. It also marked the first time in years in which he could claim that he had more male friends than female; a fact which would have strong reprecusions for him in later years. Many of the lingering nervousness and doubts which had plagued him in the past had for the time dissapeared; he actively longed to return home and then to college and make his mark upon both places. All of this served him well, as his final year and a half in college would prove to be one of the busiest and hard working periods in his young life.
-------------------------------------
Alright, end part 3. You know, its funny, when I first had this idea I tohught it would be a relatively short post, and here I am on part three. Thanks for those of you who have been reading this and posting comments, its nice to know I'm not shouting into the wind. Also, thank you for putting up with this little pretension of mine; I hope that I'm painting my personality well here, and that I'm not coming off as too unlikable (although, I also hope that I'm being honest to myself as well; I don't want to paint over my bad traits, or to leave out my good). So, if you're reading this, why not drop me a line letting me knwo what you think or any suggestions you might have? Danke
strega:
This entry actually made me go back and read the previous two. I found all three to be very interesting and well written. I don't think you portray yourself in a bad light at all. In fact I'd say you have managed to portray yourself as having a good combination of confidence and humility without ever crossing the line in to self deprecation or arrogance. I can't wait to read more.
samling:
i haven't been in a lot of journals lately. and that shit is a LOT to read, yo!