Why is it that in hospitals people have no sense of courtesy? I mean, come on. HOSPITALITY. There's the word HOSPITAL in there, dammit.
So I crawl into my school's medical center. No one offers a wheel chair, or any help for that matter. I get stared down during the 4 minute journey to the check-in window.
"Are you in pain?"
"Drugs." I say.
So I wait in line for an hour and a half. That's fine. It happens. I don't think I deserve special treatment just because I feel like I'm being electrocuted everytime I move. I'm a strong guy, dammit.
My name is called. Again, there's my slow trek to another room, complete with stares and a 'hurry the fuck up, whiner' attitude. After speaking with a nurse that hasn't been fucked in years, she says:
"You shouldn't really be here. You should've taken some asprin, applied a heating pad and waited it out. You'll be fine. This place is for people with serious injuries."
The one time in my life I wanted to punch a bitch. And I couldn't. That midget from Austen Powers could kick my ass right now.
"Soma and some codene based pain-killer. Thanks."
Then the doctor goes on for 30 seconds about my back, prescribes me what I want, then goes on for 30 minutes on my eating and smoking habits. Thank god I lied about the drinking.
"Thanks for the drugs, doc. By the way, I'm gonna go home and wash down a double dose of these with a twelve pack."
And there is a happy ending. The muscle relaxers are good. I can't feel a fucking thing.
So I crawl into my school's medical center. No one offers a wheel chair, or any help for that matter. I get stared down during the 4 minute journey to the check-in window.
"Are you in pain?"
"Drugs." I say.
So I wait in line for an hour and a half. That's fine. It happens. I don't think I deserve special treatment just because I feel like I'm being electrocuted everytime I move. I'm a strong guy, dammit.
My name is called. Again, there's my slow trek to another room, complete with stares and a 'hurry the fuck up, whiner' attitude. After speaking with a nurse that hasn't been fucked in years, she says:
"You shouldn't really be here. You should've taken some asprin, applied a heating pad and waited it out. You'll be fine. This place is for people with serious injuries."
The one time in my life I wanted to punch a bitch. And I couldn't. That midget from Austen Powers could kick my ass right now.
"Soma and some codene based pain-killer. Thanks."
Then the doctor goes on for 30 seconds about my back, prescribes me what I want, then goes on for 30 minutes on my eating and smoking habits. Thank god I lied about the drinking.
"Thanks for the drugs, doc. By the way, I'm gonna go home and wash down a double dose of these with a twelve pack."
And there is a happy ending. The muscle relaxers are good. I can't feel a fucking thing.
get the work done,
feel better,
and don't od on pills and booze(although mixing them is acceptable and, in fact, to be encouraged)
all in that order.
Its a cliche- but now you know what it feels like to be me! You should quit your whining anyway- you know that Im gonna wait on you hand and fucken foot (sometime during my busy schedule) and when Im not around you'll have plenty of women to tend to your every need your little heart desires.
That's allright- I can sare... so long its with the right woman. Keep writing, punk- pills and booze. Thats the man I love!