so.... i kinda had a calming realization the other day (and suprisingly it wasnt while i was under the influence of any mind-altering halucinagenics,..).
see.. im not a religious person at all; im totally into science, reason, and truth... ya know,...which actually sucks for me because my biggest fear is dying. i really wish i were naive and accepting enough to be faithful and believe in a supreme being and after life, because then i wouldnt have anything to worry about becasue THEN, when i die, cool, ill be in eternal paradise. no problemo. but the idea of death scares the shit outta me because its like... i wont exist anymore, ya know. no more me. no more thoughts, no more breathes, no more life, no nothing. just deterioration of my body and brains. ugghhhh....
BUT...the other day, i dont know what i was reading, but i had the biggest realization of my life. dying is like never being born. i dont remember NOT being born, and the world went on for millions of years just fine prior to my existance; it wont be any different once im gone.
i wasnt born pissed off that i had missed out on millions of years of existance. i should be greatful for even havign the opportunity to live, not spending a good prtion of my life concerned with death.
so thats about it. something everyone else has probalbly realized and accepted a long time ago, but nonetheless, its HUGE for me to be OKAY with the idea of death. not excited; not impartial. but okay with the fact that one day i will eventually ceise to exist. thats a very big step for myself...
fuck, going to school for psychology may be paying off already...
see.. im not a religious person at all; im totally into science, reason, and truth... ya know,...which actually sucks for me because my biggest fear is dying. i really wish i were naive and accepting enough to be faithful and believe in a supreme being and after life, because then i wouldnt have anything to worry about becasue THEN, when i die, cool, ill be in eternal paradise. no problemo. but the idea of death scares the shit outta me because its like... i wont exist anymore, ya know. no more me. no more thoughts, no more breathes, no more life, no nothing. just deterioration of my body and brains. ugghhhh....
BUT...the other day, i dont know what i was reading, but i had the biggest realization of my life. dying is like never being born. i dont remember NOT being born, and the world went on for millions of years just fine prior to my existance; it wont be any different once im gone.
i wasnt born pissed off that i had missed out on millions of years of existance. i should be greatful for even havign the opportunity to live, not spending a good prtion of my life concerned with death.
so thats about it. something everyone else has probalbly realized and accepted a long time ago, but nonetheless, its HUGE for me to be OKAY with the idea of death. not excited; not impartial. but okay with the fact that one day i will eventually ceise to exist. thats a very big step for myself...
fuck, going to school for psychology may be paying off already...
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But I came to the same conclusion, if you die and there's nothing else, then it's not like you can care, you're not there. Though its hard to get your mind around a finite end. A bit where you're nothing.
Ack. I think I'll go think about kittens instead