this is going to sound really lame... but I was looking thru pics to post on here and I kept finding pictures of my cat... and I just burst into tears... Maverick Mephistopheles was hit by a car a month ago today, he was 3 years old... he had extensive brain damage, a broken jaw, a broken leg, and a few broken ribs to start... I was at home in Bremerton when I got a phone call saying "I'm so sorry, but I hit your cat with my car...", I had taken him down to my parents' house not even a week prior (he didn't seem happy up here in Bremerton, and everyone was complaining that he was marking his territory all over the house, etc... it's a rental, but then again, this poor cat had been thru quite a bit over the last year and he wasn't adjusting well). I called my mother and told her to find this woman and to take care of my cat... I was completely calm as I walked thru the house, I grabbed my keys and walked past my roommate, calmly telling him what happened... as soon as I got out the door I snapped. (my boyfriend had some friends over to look at his new car and such, well one of them was parked behind me...) in a heartbeat I was down the steps and screaming "move the fucking car!" and "the cat was hit by a car" as I made the dash to mine... I got into my car, my hands were shaking, I could hardly sort out my keys and my boyfriend tells me to get into his car because he's going to drive...
on the way down to Tacoma I'm shaky and trying hard to breathe at a normal pace... my mother calls to give us directions and then she puts the vet on the phone and I get all the details... the tears start the flow... we get down there to the emergency pet clinic and my mother is crying and then they lead us into a room and they bring him in and set him on the table. i completely lose it, he tries to perk up when he hears me and I hear this weak groan of a meow from him (I used to have full out conversations with him) - he knows I'm there... and I can't even touch him... I don't get any closer than a foot from the table... I just sit there looking up at him and crying, I don't know what else to do... before I got there I had already made my decision that he would be put down... it was quick and I was given his collar before we left... he was cremated and now his ashes sit in a tin in the closet until I put them in a more fitting container...
when we got home I couldn't even look at Jezebel, the other cat, I tried holding her, but I burst into tears again... I sat out on the deck in the cold with tequila and a pack of cigarettes... I started to calm down a little when I pulled my wallet out because it was uncomfortable to sit on and a picture of him fell out... needless to say the tears started again...
this cat was my baby, he was everything to me, hell, the boyfriends had to pass the cat's inspection or I wouldn't date them... when I was short for money, the cat would get to eat before I did... he was spoiled, he was the only consistent and reliable 'man' in my life and now he's gone. the only time I can think of that he was truly happy was when he was alone in the apartment with me. when I was in high school or even when I was working he would wait by the door for me, he would hear my car pull into the driveway and come running...
even now Jez will run up the stairs like she used to when they would play tag around the house and she looks behind her like he's still there...
I don't know why this was sparked, I hadn't even really thought about it in a while, but it feels a little better to write about it... maybe it's because I'm looking for someone who loves me unconditionally, someone who will be there 'forever'... that cat was supposed to be him... and he was taken away from me...
[I'm not trying to be dramatic or anything, but the world has a way of saying "bend over Gia, we're not done with you yet..." when you think it can't get any worse... well, it does... I have my good moments, so it's not all bad (about 20% good, 80% bad)... but the bad has to let up sometime, right?]
on the way down to Tacoma I'm shaky and trying hard to breathe at a normal pace... my mother calls to give us directions and then she puts the vet on the phone and I get all the details... the tears start the flow... we get down there to the emergency pet clinic and my mother is crying and then they lead us into a room and they bring him in and set him on the table. i completely lose it, he tries to perk up when he hears me and I hear this weak groan of a meow from him (I used to have full out conversations with him) - he knows I'm there... and I can't even touch him... I don't get any closer than a foot from the table... I just sit there looking up at him and crying, I don't know what else to do... before I got there I had already made my decision that he would be put down... it was quick and I was given his collar before we left... he was cremated and now his ashes sit in a tin in the closet until I put them in a more fitting container...
when we got home I couldn't even look at Jezebel, the other cat, I tried holding her, but I burst into tears again... I sat out on the deck in the cold with tequila and a pack of cigarettes... I started to calm down a little when I pulled my wallet out because it was uncomfortable to sit on and a picture of him fell out... needless to say the tears started again...
this cat was my baby, he was everything to me, hell, the boyfriends had to pass the cat's inspection or I wouldn't date them... when I was short for money, the cat would get to eat before I did... he was spoiled, he was the only consistent and reliable 'man' in my life and now he's gone. the only time I can think of that he was truly happy was when he was alone in the apartment with me. when I was in high school or even when I was working he would wait by the door for me, he would hear my car pull into the driveway and come running...
even now Jez will run up the stairs like she used to when they would play tag around the house and she looks behind her like he's still there...
I don't know why this was sparked, I hadn't even really thought about it in a while, but it feels a little better to write about it... maybe it's because I'm looking for someone who loves me unconditionally, someone who will be there 'forever'... that cat was supposed to be him... and he was taken away from me...
[I'm not trying to be dramatic or anything, but the world has a way of saying "bend over Gia, we're not done with you yet..." when you think it can't get any worse... well, it does... I have my good moments, so it's not all bad (about 20% good, 80% bad)... but the bad has to let up sometime, right?]
reesewtbl:
hey im so sorry to hear about your cat. that really sucks. it always sucks when you loose a pet. hey girl dont let the bad things get you down just keep your head up and say fuck you bad things, im not going to loose or give up. it will always be a constant battle for good and bad things. i hope this makes sense and if you ever need to talk, i will listen. well my dear you have a great day and baby cows are cute but big cows are not cute. even if there not chasing you. talk to you later.