I once told myself that I would not do anything to compromise who I am. That no matter what came my way in life, or who for that matter, I would always be myself. Friends and lovers may come and go, but you are always there, and no matter what you must always be able to look at yourself and be happy.
Yet, somehow, I have fallen short of that goal in my life. I have changed myself in order to be more in touch with the people around me. Sure, my basic principles have stayed the same. Sure, I have not changed my appearance or lost my faith because of anyone. However; I have witnessed myself become someone I am not, usually because of that little demon called love. Don't get me wrong, I have not lost my belief that love exists. Quite the opposite, I usually let myself become a slave to it. I usually let it works its little hands under my skin, and reshape me to who it thinks I should be.
The problem here is that love is something that should embrace who you are, not who it wants you to be. It should be the thing that encourages you to be yourself, and not a rolled eye at your child-like view that the world is too serious. It should be able to agree to disagree, and should still be able to have a good-natured argument. It should be almost everything you're looking for, but respectful enough for you to overlook any of it's shortcomings (and it should overlook any of yours). It should be something that is so beautiful it can never age, but so amazing you can never lose your appreciation of it.
There are so many things that love should be, but somehow it gets perverted. It gets mutated. It becomes something we all long for, but so few of us can accept the way it is. We try to change love into what we want, define it, catalog it, and claim ownership of it, and lose sight of what it really is.
And despite all of my failures to find someone whose concept of love is the same, I see it everyday. I have friends who have found their connections. I see people who expel their feelings for each other that it draws my eye. I'm not talking about every couple in the park who holds hands, or the high school couple who can sneak away for a quick romp between classes. I'm talking about the people who can look each other in the eye, and the whole world disappears. The lovers who can be comfortable without each other for minutes, hours, days, and when they see each other, no matter how long they have been apart, they seem as though they've been apart for ages, and they've been longing for the moment they were together again.
I feel like I've become some sort of creepy peeper, because I see this and I can not help but look at these people, because I find some serenity in the fact that they are each others world. I find hope in the look they give each other, for I know that even if I never find what I'm looking for, they have. I could die happy tomorrow having only watched their love for a moment, because even seeing something like that gives you that momentary feeling of what love is, and you appreciate it all the more.
For those of you who know this love, do a small favor for me: Tell that person you love them. Always remember what they mean to you, and that you're love can do so much for the world around you.
Yet, somehow, I have fallen short of that goal in my life. I have changed myself in order to be more in touch with the people around me. Sure, my basic principles have stayed the same. Sure, I have not changed my appearance or lost my faith because of anyone. However; I have witnessed myself become someone I am not, usually because of that little demon called love. Don't get me wrong, I have not lost my belief that love exists. Quite the opposite, I usually let myself become a slave to it. I usually let it works its little hands under my skin, and reshape me to who it thinks I should be.
The problem here is that love is something that should embrace who you are, not who it wants you to be. It should be the thing that encourages you to be yourself, and not a rolled eye at your child-like view that the world is too serious. It should be able to agree to disagree, and should still be able to have a good-natured argument. It should be almost everything you're looking for, but respectful enough for you to overlook any of it's shortcomings (and it should overlook any of yours). It should be something that is so beautiful it can never age, but so amazing you can never lose your appreciation of it.
There are so many things that love should be, but somehow it gets perverted. It gets mutated. It becomes something we all long for, but so few of us can accept the way it is. We try to change love into what we want, define it, catalog it, and claim ownership of it, and lose sight of what it really is.
And despite all of my failures to find someone whose concept of love is the same, I see it everyday. I have friends who have found their connections. I see people who expel their feelings for each other that it draws my eye. I'm not talking about every couple in the park who holds hands, or the high school couple who can sneak away for a quick romp between classes. I'm talking about the people who can look each other in the eye, and the whole world disappears. The lovers who can be comfortable without each other for minutes, hours, days, and when they see each other, no matter how long they have been apart, they seem as though they've been apart for ages, and they've been longing for the moment they were together again.
I feel like I've become some sort of creepy peeper, because I see this and I can not help but look at these people, because I find some serenity in the fact that they are each others world. I find hope in the look they give each other, for I know that even if I never find what I'm looking for, they have. I could die happy tomorrow having only watched their love for a moment, because even seeing something like that gives you that momentary feeling of what love is, and you appreciate it all the more.
For those of you who know this love, do a small favor for me: Tell that person you love them. Always remember what they mean to you, and that you're love can do so much for the world around you.