a couple days ago while i waiting for a bus to go home from work , i wasn't feeling too good. depressed about a love i shouldn't go after. there were a couple of old homeless guys drinking and laughing about twenty feet down the sidewalk from me. one was crippled in a wheelchair, missing his thumb, index and middle finger from his left hand and a lot of teeth. the other guy didn't have many teeth either. both had gild of street dirt and sweat, and they were laughing. just passing a bottle of something back and forth talking about things and points off here and there. for a moment i wondered how much money it must take to make them forget all their shit. then i went back to my INCREDIBLE dilemma. rolling it over in my head, in different ways. trying to figure someway for my crush on E.D.H. to turn into a real relationship. i don't think i'm good at lying to myself. i analyze things a lot. i'm just sitting there going nowhere in my head with this. sort of like one of those bad dreams where you're repeating some mundane task and it's driving you insane but you don't have the power to escape the task. more and more don't know what to do. the two homeless guys finish their bottle and plant it in the rocky landscaping next to where the healthier guy was sitting. as they head north past me the old guy in the wheelchair says, "don't worry man, it'll get better."
