WORKING LATE BLOWS... Mollie calls me everyday... every mornng when I get up... everynight as she crawls into bed but she claims she doesn't want to be with me. She tells me all the time about how she isn't hooking up and has no interest in anyone... mixed messages???
why did I have to fuck it up so bad? Sometimes I wish that I wouldn't have passed out and would have just OD'd and the cuts would have been deeper. It would have made the heartache nonexistant. (at least for me) The fucked up part is we were doing well before I went off the deep end... years of stress, hardwork, family bullshit, etc... I was just over it and didn't want to deal anymore. Nothing to do with the relationship itself or her. I knew it would hurt her and almost used it as an escape out of the only relationship that will ever satisfy me. I was too young, too afraid and most of all... too in love.
Do I still love her? Yes, I always will. (I know you two... the ones who read my journal daily are so sick of hearing about this...I am sorry)
I see her saturday... I am so scared. I know my feelings will be there like a volcano but will hers? I hope they do and I hope they dont. We'll never be right until we are in the same place.
I hole'd up the other side of my nose tonight... I don't know why... bored I guess
I need to get back to work... I'll be here all night.
why did I have to fuck it up so bad? Sometimes I wish that I wouldn't have passed out and would have just OD'd and the cuts would have been deeper. It would have made the heartache nonexistant. (at least for me) The fucked up part is we were doing well before I went off the deep end... years of stress, hardwork, family bullshit, etc... I was just over it and didn't want to deal anymore. Nothing to do with the relationship itself or her. I knew it would hurt her and almost used it as an escape out of the only relationship that will ever satisfy me. I was too young, too afraid and most of all... too in love.
Do I still love her? Yes, I always will. (I know you two... the ones who read my journal daily are so sick of hearing about this...I am sorry)
I see her saturday... I am so scared. I know my feelings will be there like a volcano but will hers? I hope they do and I hope they dont. We'll never be right until we are in the same place.
I hole'd up the other side of my nose tonight... I don't know why... bored I guess
I need to get back to work... I'll be here all night.
1. i hope you didnt hole it up yourself.
2. you listen to my bitching just as much as i do yours.
3. i know just what your saying.
look dude, seriously...
stop listening to the stills, stop locking yourself in your office for days, stop letting her call you everday.
if your in love with her, talking to her everyday is NOT goign to help. dont let her call you so much. you can be together when you move, but for now... you need to not be so involved.
come drink whiskey and do cocaine with me.
thats what us non virg's do.