I am so not in a good mood right now. I've been sleeping really badly the last few days. My best friend has drama again, she might be pregnant with her ex boyfriends baby because she forget to take her pill. And then on top of it work is all fucked up because a few people are off work so it's craziness. Drama, I hate drama.
And then a few days ago, I saw a straight edge " Meet your meat " video about animals in slaugherhouse. Now I maybe eat the equivalent of maybe 2 chickens dieing but after seeing the matter that animals die, what they are forced to go through, the way some of them are totured and beaten, and cruelly put through before they are finally put to death in the slaugherhouse.. yeah, I'm not not eating meat every again. And as soon as I think that I have the discipline to be a vegan I will. I had no fucking idea what happened in slaugherhouses. And all I have to say is thou shalt not kill and I feel better since I've repeated that to myself everytime I think of those horrible images, and those horrible men hurting those animals.
Anyway.. onto something happier.
Oh, wait for that to happen that'd have to be someone else's life.
The boy I was seeing and stopped seeing because we both just stopped calling each other text messages me like out of the blue on monday, apologizing for not calling and says he misses me and that it's been a super bad week. It's like what the fucking hell? You haven't called in like 2 weeks and then all of a sudden its like i miss you, whats up? Well, I really shouldn't talk either, because I haven't called him either. I'm bad like that, until I'm fully commited to you, I won't do much calling unless I see you do it. I will not be like my best friend and be a complete bug a boo. I don't know how she can stand to call a boy like 5x a night and not think of what she comes off like. But, then he calls me on tuesday, while I'm in the shower, I call him back later we talk for a few. Talk about how his life is going, how my life is going, he explains why he hasn't called, I explained that I wanted him to have his space. We end with a I hope you find peace, and take care. We didn't promise to call again, and we didn't promise to talk. But hey, what can I expect? Isn't that what people are best at? Leaving.
I'm going to prefect that right now. Leave.
And then a few days ago, I saw a straight edge " Meet your meat " video about animals in slaugherhouse. Now I maybe eat the equivalent of maybe 2 chickens dieing but after seeing the matter that animals die, what they are forced to go through, the way some of them are totured and beaten, and cruelly put through before they are finally put to death in the slaugherhouse.. yeah, I'm not not eating meat every again. And as soon as I think that I have the discipline to be a vegan I will. I had no fucking idea what happened in slaugherhouses. And all I have to say is thou shalt not kill and I feel better since I've repeated that to myself everytime I think of those horrible images, and those horrible men hurting those animals.
Anyway.. onto something happier.
Oh, wait for that to happen that'd have to be someone else's life.
The boy I was seeing and stopped seeing because we both just stopped calling each other text messages me like out of the blue on monday, apologizing for not calling and says he misses me and that it's been a super bad week. It's like what the fucking hell? You haven't called in like 2 weeks and then all of a sudden its like i miss you, whats up? Well, I really shouldn't talk either, because I haven't called him either. I'm bad like that, until I'm fully commited to you, I won't do much calling unless I see you do it. I will not be like my best friend and be a complete bug a boo. I don't know how she can stand to call a boy like 5x a night and not think of what she comes off like. But, then he calls me on tuesday, while I'm in the shower, I call him back later we talk for a few. Talk about how his life is going, how my life is going, he explains why he hasn't called, I explained that I wanted him to have his space. We end with a I hope you find peace, and take care. We didn't promise to call again, and we didn't promise to talk. But hey, what can I expect? Isn't that what people are best at? Leaving.
I'm going to prefect that right now. Leave.
So the boy who stopped communicating has a bad week and than suddenly says hI, I kinda sorta need a crutch? I have never expected a girl to call personally, unless she says she will. kinda figure it is my responsability to care for the continued interest and bond. maybe i am just old school. who knows. I wouldnt sweat not callin him at all, its all good. Your friend sounds kinda scary, callin repeatedly is all too stalker like.
ANd hey, in order for people to leave, they have to be there in the first place, so that means that they are also good at showing up, and atleast hanging around. And besides that, if everyone who came and was in your life stayed, life would be a really crowded place. Some things are ment to come and go. It is the really special things , that just blow our minds that should actually stay.
SO!!If you can, try to cheer up! you have a beautiful face, and a smile on it looks Stunning. think of something fun and happy, like..shit i dunno. Holloween is almost here, that is good! Lots of cheap chocolate, and great dressup costumes, and fun parties. The weather let the sun come back out!!
Try to get some sleep. it will help. Drinking Tea sometimes helps. I dont drink tea, but i know alot of people do.
[Edited on Sep 09, 2004 12:51PM]
best of luck