daisy

I think i'm all thinked out.

In saying that, i decided things had to change, and i wanted some answers. And i got them. And not from the place i thought either. Things just suddenly have somewhat fallen into place. And i was barking completly up the wrong tree all along. Ha.

So, i have to admit to feeling slightly overwhelmed with things at the moment.

Part of what i was thinking so much about was work. I was all set to leave. I've had a plan now for a while, to do my exams, which i'll (hopefully) be finished in May, and ya sure it's few months of non-stop studying, and work, but i'm more than capable for that. And then, leave. I had a plan. Nothing concrete, and then, in the last week or so, maybe more, i just really started thinking, and that was it, i was leaving. Leaving my job, my friends, my family, the country i've lived in my whole life. I was so definite. Until today. Something happened, and it caught me off guard. I had a Kathleen Barry moment, and that will mean nothing to anybody else. But it meant the world to me.

So anyway, we had a mini meet this weekend. Ha,you jealous??? I took one of my notions. My best friend got a new job, in Mallow, so he wanted to go there, adn see how long it took to get there, and what the town was like and such. So, i drove. Which in hindsight makes no sense. But, when we got to Mallow, well, sure, it was half way to Limerick anyway, so i just kept driving. And i met Brain. Remember ICY, he used to be a member on here, and i can hand on my heart say he's probably the best thing to come out of this site for me. (No offence Matthew, you're pretty special too, i'm sure you've heard that before) He's a legend, and i've not seen him in a year, so well, that wasn't good enough. And i met DexV33 too. And we had a lovely time, despite the fact i had to hide in the kitchen to get away from him. But damn it, he found me.

I had actually forgotton what it's like to have fun. I don't mean that to sound as horribly deppressing as it sounds. But i had. It's been a while. Honest fun, where i'm not worried about the bigger things. I love my friend John. I really do. Even if he has the worst ideas ever. Imagine bringing a hammer to work??? Especially seeing as i've been warned off breaking more safes, for THAT exact reason.

I realise i get way too thoughtful in this fucking blog. I'm actually not this depressive in real life, i'm the exact fucking opposite. I'm a messer, you can't get me to stop messing for love nor money. But this isn't real life, is it? And i forget that sometimes.

Happy face from now on, i promise. I might even put up happy blogs. Nawwww, who'd read that??


Oh, and i wanted to say a huge thank you to Huw. He listened to me moan, and blip on and on on saturday, and really was a huge help. I don't think he knows how glad i am that we're mates.