I've had such a bad run at things lately, and i really hope that things are going to start getting better soon, cuz they sure as shit can't get much worse.
I've just been having problems recently in every area of my life: with my family, with my friends, with work, with my relationship, and it's all just taken it's toll on me big time.
I'm not going to go into the details here, becuase it's not really for here, so i'll spare you that. But someone pointed out recently that i don't actually have very many close friends, i mean good friends. And i don't. And that's sort of a bit of the problem, cuz things are so fantastically bad right now, and i don't really have anyone to talk to. I don't have any brothers or sisters to trash things out with, and my mum isn't really one for talking, which only leaves me with my friends, and well, there are so many issues at the moment, i can't possibly burden anyone that much.
And one "friend" has hurt me so much. I can't even begine to describe how let down i feel, and unfortunatly it has a knock on effect on other areas. And i'm so hurt that someone could betray me and my friendship that much. And have that little respect for me.
So, all in all, it's been a shitty few weeks. And through it all, i've been trying to spend more time with myself. Cuz i figure, i have to learn to like myself again, before i can work on my relationships with others. And i'm not very keen on myself at the moment. So, i've been taking up hobbies left right and centre. Monday is quite clearly Ray Winstone appreciation night, with the lovely Vincent back on my telly. Mmmm, i love me some Ray Ray. Tuesday is conditioning Aerobics night, it sounds nice and easy, it's bloody not. Wednesday is and always shall be date night, Thursday is pilates night, and Saturday is college. I'm starting my course on Saturday, and i'm quite excited. You lot have never seen me in study mode, my head will be buried in a textbook now for the next 4 months, and i might never surface again. Proper nerd like behaviour.
Anyway, i just wanted to get these things off my chest. It's been a shitty few weeks, and hopefully a corner will be turned soon enough. That's the thing i've always said, i never trust when things are going well, cuz soon enough, things will start to go very unwell. And when you fall from a great height, the fall is harder. It's my fall, and i think i'm at the end, and i shall settle back into a nice comfortable glum. I trust bleak and glum, you know where youi stand with them.
Hopefully next time i update, it'll be more upbeat. Love you lot.
I've just been having problems recently in every area of my life: with my family, with my friends, with work, with my relationship, and it's all just taken it's toll on me big time.
I'm not going to go into the details here, becuase it's not really for here, so i'll spare you that. But someone pointed out recently that i don't actually have very many close friends, i mean good friends. And i don't. And that's sort of a bit of the problem, cuz things are so fantastically bad right now, and i don't really have anyone to talk to. I don't have any brothers or sisters to trash things out with, and my mum isn't really one for talking, which only leaves me with my friends, and well, there are so many issues at the moment, i can't possibly burden anyone that much.
And one "friend" has hurt me so much. I can't even begine to describe how let down i feel, and unfortunatly it has a knock on effect on other areas. And i'm so hurt that someone could betray me and my friendship that much. And have that little respect for me.
So, all in all, it's been a shitty few weeks. And through it all, i've been trying to spend more time with myself. Cuz i figure, i have to learn to like myself again, before i can work on my relationships with others. And i'm not very keen on myself at the moment. So, i've been taking up hobbies left right and centre. Monday is quite clearly Ray Winstone appreciation night, with the lovely Vincent back on my telly. Mmmm, i love me some Ray Ray. Tuesday is conditioning Aerobics night, it sounds nice and easy, it's bloody not. Wednesday is and always shall be date night, Thursday is pilates night, and Saturday is college. I'm starting my course on Saturday, and i'm quite excited. You lot have never seen me in study mode, my head will be buried in a textbook now for the next 4 months, and i might never surface again. Proper nerd like behaviour.
Anyway, i just wanted to get these things off my chest. It's been a shitty few weeks, and hopefully a corner will be turned soon enough. That's the thing i've always said, i never trust when things are going well, cuz soon enough, things will start to go very unwell. And when you fall from a great height, the fall is harder. It's my fall, and i think i'm at the end, and i shall settle back into a nice comfortable glum. I trust bleak and glum, you know where youi stand with them.
Hopefully next time i update, it'll be more upbeat. Love you lot.
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with my parents i never had a close relationship like others have, we never talked about daily problems and if bigger problems appeared then we talked even less. so i had only my friends to talk to. worst thing is probably when one of your very close friends, the one you rely on, hurts you and this happened to both of us.
i hope the grey sky cleared up for you, as you wrote your blog couple of days ago... if not, i know it sounds silly..., just send me a note. i'd love to be on your side to fight against all evil in this world
xoxo
Yeah we should go up to Dublin again, was a great laugh the last time. Unfortunately I'm not off that Monday or Tuesday, I'm off the Wedensday and Thursday (boo hiss!) but I'll see if I can work something out. I dunno if it's possible cause I had to really rejig my shift and days to just get time off for Muse, and I had to do that two months ago
Annnyyyyyyyyway, you head out this weekend so far?
I think I'll be crying with soreness in work tomorrow