I often wonder about this here journal. I mean, i want to put interesting things in here that will excite and delight you, but seeing as i'm the queen of boring town, that is rare. I mean, does anyone care about my inner thoughts, and feelings and fears? Or would you rather read funny anecdotes, that pass me off as witty. Even if i have nothing of any substance at all to write, and put up one vacuous, self indulgant entry after another, would anyone care?
Or honesty? Who wants some honesty? Hands up? Or would you lot just like me to be another self obsessed internet queen? I can do both, or neither.
How about we go with honesty here? I need me some honesty. I have so much to get off my chest, and unfortunatly my real life isn't affording me such luxeries at the moment.
Some of you will know that i have a boyfriend. Mike. For those of you who don't know about Mike, fear not, becuase yesterday, after 3 long years, we called it a day. Well, i called it a day, in a very, very long drawn out heated argument. It's not working, and now he's trying to make me feel guilty in order to get me back, and i am so broken from the argueing and crying and trying to get my point accross. I haven't left him cuz i've stopped loving him, or for someone else, or for any of the plethora of rubbish excuses. His life is a disaster, and i provide him with the support and reliability that makes him not do anything to fix the mess he's found himself in, and i think for his own sanity, he needs to go and achieve what needs doing, and fix his problems, and deal with all his issues. And he can't do that with me always bailing him out. So, i left. And it's hard.
And now, now i don't know what to do with myself. I've spent 3 years with someone, and now for all these reasons i can't be around them anymore. And most of my friends ae "our" friends, and i have no-one to talk this through with. Maybe that's for the best. I just don't know much right now.
I don't know. Honest enough? Not witty enough? Sorry.
Or honesty? Who wants some honesty? Hands up? Or would you lot just like me to be another self obsessed internet queen? I can do both, or neither.
How about we go with honesty here? I need me some honesty. I have so much to get off my chest, and unfortunatly my real life isn't affording me such luxeries at the moment.
Some of you will know that i have a boyfriend. Mike. For those of you who don't know about Mike, fear not, becuase yesterday, after 3 long years, we called it a day. Well, i called it a day, in a very, very long drawn out heated argument. It's not working, and now he's trying to make me feel guilty in order to get me back, and i am so broken from the argueing and crying and trying to get my point accross. I haven't left him cuz i've stopped loving him, or for someone else, or for any of the plethora of rubbish excuses. His life is a disaster, and i provide him with the support and reliability that makes him not do anything to fix the mess he's found himself in, and i think for his own sanity, he needs to go and achieve what needs doing, and fix his problems, and deal with all his issues. And he can't do that with me always bailing him out. So, i left. And it's hard.
And now, now i don't know what to do with myself. I've spent 3 years with someone, and now for all these reasons i can't be around them anymore. And most of my friends ae "our" friends, and i have no-one to talk this through with. Maybe that's for the best. I just don't know much right now.
I don't know. Honest enough? Not witty enough? Sorry.
VIEW 25 of 55 COMMENTS
lizzi:
Oh man lady, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way! What a blow, I wish I could take you out and do a really stupid dance to make you laugh! I care about reading whatever you feel like writing, don't look too far into it. Dumb, intelligent, funny, honest, it doesn't matter. It's all a small window into the soul of the wonderful that is you! Feel better doll! 
hope:
I love you doll! 
