It took me 13 years of marriage and 3 years of divorce to finally figure out what I should have been focusing on the entire time.
First, let me state that my ex wife is and was an awesome person. Mind you, we don't have any connection now, because I learned growing up that when relationships don't work, you dispose of them. We separated on amicable terms and I still think she's a great person despite the fact that I feel she bailed on our marriage.
But this is a lesson learned post and not a post to blame anyone. I'm just as much to blame for the failure of our marriage as she is.
You have needs and desires. If they are not being met or you're not meeting the needs of your mate, then there is a significant issue and the two of you need to resolve it. If you can't resolve it, then you need to move on and find someone who meets those needs. I know it seems like a dick to say that, but the truth is if you don't, you won't be happy and your relationship will be bad for it. And I only mean after you've approached the problem and tried to resolve it and someone didn't want to resolve it. My example of this is, my ex was having an affair because she felt I wasn't being a good husband. When I realized what was happening, I asked her to work with me and a therapist to work things out. She went to sessions, but she didn't want to go through the effort. After a year and a half, when I realized things wouldn't get better, I presented her with the divorce papers. We didn't have kids, so that was fortunate for both of us. And I was happy to have the divorce end in her favor just so the divorce would be over.
3 years later, I understand why our marriage didn't work. She had needs and desires that I didn't meet and I had needs and desires that she didn't meet. Some were items we had communicated to each other and negotiated out of the relationship and others were items that we didn't talk about until the end came up. But I learned that these needs are what make a relationship work. Doesn't matter if they are social, intellectual, and sexual in nature. They are all important and if you don't meet those, you're regret being with your partner and it will hurt your relationship in the long term.
Long story short? It doesn't matter what your needs are, let your significant other know and if you can't agree, then make sure you can compromise on them or move on amicably. If it's important to you and you have to give it up, you won't be happy.
I won't sacrifice again.