daekrys

In a haze of smoke i watch as walls slowly crumble down around me i try to think of how to stop them but cannot i struggle beneath their weight the smoke fills my head with random thoughts non of them pertaining to the work at hand for mere seconds i can hold onto a thought just to watch it flutter away as a lazy butterfly these things that i feel are important lose all meaning as the smoke spreads through me i fall outside myself to watch things from anothers perspective this is not me silent screams escape my mine but only to get cought before reaching my mouth to find the world beggin for it all to go away so i can understand what is happening around me but it stays and it tortures me for a time till my eyelids grow heavy and sleep steals me alone i wake from a sleep free dream banging reaches my ears i rise to find someone cleaning and my friends sleeping i sneak away through the door into the night as i walk back to my truck my mind races what happened i remember but one thing Heather talking to me regarding our being together that we don't talk but i am a quiet person and i find verbal communication difficult at best the more i struggle the deeper i snik into depression desperation anxiety and panic even as i pen these words my heart begins to race trapped here working under the eyes watching me there is nought i can do about any of the problems facing me and suddenly it all stops short of nothing and everything is too much the pressure is great if it were only but planets colliding or stars exploding how better could i feel

i've been thinking a lot, and there in lies the problem. about what i've done what i am doing and what will i do. and it is heavy, i kneel to the world and it's oppresive capabilities to get me down when there is nothing else that can.