daekrys

The entire internet is at your fingertips, and you can't think of a damn thing to do with it. So you ponder it for a moment, and it comes to you in a brief flash of genius. You go to google and you type in your name...

Well if your an unknown person, of no renown what-so-ever, as I am then your search returned no fun facts about anything relevent or entertaining. But I did try typing in the name I have been using across the internet for years and have yet to be denied using it. Due to that, "that name is already in use" line. That name being Daekrys, obviously. And it brought up a few results, all memberships to various websites I have been a part of. The last on the list being SG. So I hit it and it brings up my old profile here, and I'm reading my old blogs from 2-plus years ago thinking what a loser I was. So I immediately whipped out my plastic money and revived my account.

So some of the changes in my life over the last two years (what seems like the longest two years ever looking back on it) would be:

I have realized that the reason I couldn't get and hold a job was because I was a pathetic whiny little punk who didn't understand the meaning of hard work. For just almost two years now I have held the same job in a sheet metal fabrication company. I went in knowing absolutey nothing about anything in there. But I had made a promise to myself to end the cycle I had been putting myself through. I started out at $10/hr as a floater, working on, shears, rollers, punch presses, multi-taps, brake presses, cnc turrent punch presses, cnc lathes, spotwelders, nutpresses, shipping/recieving, and a brief stint in arc welding. 3 months after I had started they decided to hire me onto the company payroll, and with that came a $2 raise. Pretty good for my experiance level. Shortly after a position opened up in the CNC department on second shift, and I jumped at the chance. Du Wayne the second shift CNC lead tought me the basics. Hes the kind of guy that only likes to let you know the bare minimum of how to do something, probably so he doesn't end up looking bad by being outdone. But as it turned out, I'm a damn natural at it. This last March I was premoted to lead on first shift, thus out-ranking Du Wayne. It's great by the way. That brought another $2 raise. So now I'm at $14/hr. Which is pretty good for just having my GED. But R&M is a small company and their bad at giving raises, they still owe me my one year raise and my two year raise is almost hear already. But I don't have enough experiance yet to go somewhere else for more money, so I just have to keep at it there. But the plant manager has really taken a liking to me so he gives me a lot of under the table benefits, since he can't give me my raise without the presidents approval, (who is a jerk by the way). Such as anytime I miss work for whatever reason he just changes my time in the computer. According to the computer, I haven't missed anytime at all for the last year and a half. My personal time off is maxed out, which is good in case I ever do have to use it. In March my employer is moving from St Lois Park out west to Buffalo. And I'll be moving out there too as soon as circumstances permit. Which I'm glad for since its a good mix between rural and suburban. Thats where I'm at with workl now though.

The biggest change in my life would have to be having a daughter though, by far. Its been the greatest thing I've ever experianced. Even though it is trying at times, and it has changed my perspective on a lot of things. I have nothing bad what so ever to say about being a father, it's wonderful. Marrige however is another story. I am unhappily married to my daughter's mother. Long long long story short: I was dating her, didn't really see it going anywhere long term, but that didn't stop me from having sex with her. So eventually she got pregnent, and I told her that I supported whatever desicion she made concerning her pregnancy. Which was completly true, but then one night she wanted to talk to me. And between sobbing outbursts, she began admitting a whole slew of things she had told me that were lies, most of which I had already surmised were lies just bby being around her and her family enough. Some such lies were: 1) She was born in Germany, and spoke fluent german. 2) She had told me she had cancer, and while we were dating that she went to the doctor and they said it was gone. 3) That her mother and step father beat her. 4)That she had done all sorts of drugs and had all sorts of sexual encounter, why she would make up those two things in the first place is beyond me, probably to try and seem cooler, but I'll tell ya, it didn't make me like her more. 5) That she had epilepsy, she held onto this one well into her second trimester, but I pulled it out of her due to the fact that neither she nor any of the doctors had mentioned anything about it. 6) Using my truck to go places she needed to go to. She was actually going out to joyride and hang out with friends and hook-up with guys though she still won't admit the last part, I know of for sure at least one guy that she cheated on me with.

This was my chance to get out of the relationship with her, looking back on it I should have. But all I could think about was that I wanted to be a part of my daughters life regardless of everything she had done. And so we went on to get married, never having even lived together. After Pandora was born my wife was eventually diagnosed with bi-polar. Which if you know anyone with it is hell. Getting into that knowing that its there is one thing, but I didn't know. It entails a whole plethora off problems, from being horrible with money to honesty issues, to suicide. All of which and more she has expressed relentlessly. She got on some drugs for it, but has since stopped taking them since they made her gain weight. We seperated for a total of 2 months, though we still lived together during it. Between her promising not to let me see our daughter, even though she can't legally, she can still make it very difficult, and either me taking Pandora or paying child support, and all the things that were in both our name, mostly loans and a lease and stuff, and financial reasons there is no way the a full seperation is possible at this time. So here I am living unhappily married, though I try to make the best of it, she is just a lot to deal with. Its all very complicated, seriously what I've put here is the tip of the iceberg. Just ask me sometime, I dare you, you'll regret it.