d20

but you are, my love, the astronaut.

pretentious lyric quote quota satisfied.

being here for so long has an effect on me sometimes. i look back through all my journals here and wonder who i was. i think about what i remember as having mattered to me back then then see i what i actually wrote about and it's so different. am i really that flippant about everything?

i wrote about world of warcraft like a thousand times but not once did i actually say how much i missed sougwen when she moved to new york. really?

the most traumatic breakup i ever went through was documented here as a series of vague i-miss-yous and talk about what to do about the cats.

the past year and a half has changed my whole life -- remade me entirely -- and i haven't once said her name. do any of you know her name? i can only think of two people who would. she's a pillar, and you don't know her at all.

is that really me? reading it all back now that it isn't me anymore makes me feel like i really was an asshole. how could anyone have gotten a solid grip on such a blunt face?

bah. it makes me want to delete it all, and it makes me want to record every day. i think i'll likely end up somewhere in the middle.