One thing about being Heathen AND Pagan is that without community, you are alone in study, custom and culture. It is hard to be solitary in this regard. You have to contend with gaining knowledge on your own rather than sharing with like minded individuals, celebrating holidays and events by yourself and contending with the general loneliness. You have no idea where to go in terms of good sources for information, and you have to be extra careful when extracting knowledge else your practice and ritual become less effective and possibly dangerous (Yes, I get it. This last part is more woo. Sue me.)
Yet it's through these difficulties that mettle is shown and worth is demonstrated. There are so many people out there further in their studies in comparison to me, yet like the great Rocky Balboa said "It's not about hard you can hit, it's about how hard you get hit and keep moving forward". Creating and/or renewing a culture is something that takes years of practice and dedication of reconstruction. And if one wants to take part in the hard way, they have to keep moving forward and acknowledge they have little to offer until they have enough to offer. Humility on this front is expected and lauded for good reason.
So I have to admit, I am a Swedish American Heathen and I know very little about Swedish history. My grandparents tried to give me the language, but it fell through. I still celebrate Christmas with Korv. I call the Æsir the Asar (and by their Swedish variant names, there is no H in TOR). I celebrate Midsommar. I had a hearth in my home with Swedish relics like our family bibles passed down from our ancestors from Sweden. I remember a little bit about the tomte. I have barely enough to call myself Swedish American. I wish I had more, but each day I keep thinking, would the modern Swedish care for me as a the technical mutt I am? Would they care to share their history and culture with me so I can help it to survive and possible help it flourish in a new state of being? Whatever their answer is one I would accept. Ethnically Swedish does not mean culturally Swedish and many might take issue with that.
And of course there is the other half of myself. The Gallic polytheist. The draw to Gaul, it's ways, it's spirits, and it's gods. Is it wrong to bring some of these things back due to cultural appropriation, or is it a fair renewal in memoriam of the proud and defiant nature of it's varied tribes? I can't call myself Gaul, because I don't live on the land where it was called so. I can't take up a tribal name from their past as there is not enough information to do so, and I wouldn't be able to be initiated in their ways, and with their blessing.
Do the gods care? No lore has stated that any are forbidden to worship them, yet venerating them in a way that is foreign to their culture seems wrong in my heart. It would be like talking to them with a radio when they have a cellphone in my eyes. Epona herself partook in evocatio (no I didn't misspell that) allegedly but I still would have trouble in my own heart to draw a deity to being okay with being venerated in away that they are not used to or rather a way that has absolutely no familiar elements, because let's be real, it's impossible to completely reconstruct the ritual of the ancient cultures to a T.
So what are my options? I could give one culture up and dedicate myself to the other. I could try to syncretize both in one fell swoop and risk drawing ire from both communities of GPs and Heathens, as well as spirits and gods (maybe even ancestors). There are many options. But the one I'm considering and will attempt is to create a new path with both cultures in a separation. Think a White Russian with all parts (well most parts) separated.
Delicious, yes? Yes.
What I am talking about is starting something akin to a proto-tribe. Something with the potential to grow into a flourishing community linked by family and tradition. Something that can bring people of like minds together and bind them in prosperity and growing culture. I've talked with a few other heathens in MN already about meeting for a coffee moot or something, but I can already tell they won't be interested in the Gallic polytheism and I don't expect them to. But it is a start and I can network with them to find people who are interested in building this project.
It's my deepest hope that this comes true, and I can bring others together under this way. I just hope I can figure out how to do liturgy in both languages one day. Swedish will be easier that Gaulish, I can tell you that now. That being said, I'll say this to you the reader:
Ratos diíuion buetid matus
and hopefully soon I'll be able to say
Immi uiros rios toutias rias
in both languages.