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cyyn

Darwin

Member Since 2012

Followers 53 Following 97

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Friday Jan 18, 2013

Jan 18, 2013
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I haven't been on in awhile. There are reasons.
The biggest reason is that I'm going to enlist in the Guard. I've needed to get my affairs in order with my school, and I've been trying to spend time with friends and family. You guys are my friends as well, but you know how it is, the people within proximity take precedence.



I'm really sad right now. You see, when I was younger I experienced life and death differently than most people. That isn't to say my feelings about them are superior, just different. At age 4, my Great Grandfather passed. Like most testimonials, my Great Grandfather was a very sweet and kind man. He used to push me on a swing on top of the hill next to his house. The way I treated him on his last day on Earth was the opposite. I was very tired and didn't want to stay put while he was dying in his hospital bed. It wasn't until his funeral that I came to grips with what had happened.

I get it. I was a child, I shouldn't feel so bad. But I will. I will always feel sad at the loss of loved one. Even if their passing was peaceful like Greatgranpa.

Which brings us to today. My rat Pandora, whom I loved for the 3 years of her life, passed. It was a peaceful passing, and I'm grateful for that. But as it's winter in Minnesota, the ground is frozen and I cannot bury her easily. I have to wait a few months to bury her and I hate that.

Pandora was a firecracking sweetheart. She cuddled with the people who took her out of her house, and chased my cats around if they became too "fresh" with her. Quite a few times Prince or Spice (an experienced and good mouser) would take a sniff and turn around from her, to which her reply were a few nips at their heels and a warcry as loud as a rat could muster. She loved grapes, and blueberries. She would expect quite a few treats in the morning before her daytime nap. She would sit there and eat said treat in front of you, because she loved the attention.

So, I put her body in the freezer and left. I did my death and funeral rituals. What I do is drive whilst listening to 2 sad or somber songs, give a very loud cry to my gods, then talk about how she was in life and how I loved her. I feel better, but I'm still sad.


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