Yesterday was a bitter yet some how it was a relief. My grandfather passed away at 6:55 pm EST, on August 22. Basically I was prepared for it as we knew as early as this past Saturday that time was really getting short.
It was extremely difficult to watch as he slid away from life and into the next experience (whatever that may be.) He was very agitated on Thursday and Friday, because of an infection, and he was lashing out at everyone, he punched an X-ray techn at the hospital, tried to twist my arm off, tried to bite my mom and a nurse, and kicked a nurse at his nursing home. He was angry, and he had nothing to lose by expressing this anger. He was tired, at 91 years old, after living through 3 different types of cancer, and outliving 4 wives, he'd had enough (although he did have a girlfriend up until yesterday.)
He suffered through hallucinations the last few days, and he was in a lot of pain, which when we first had him at the ER and then the hospital room, seemed to be ignored. My mom brought the fact that he was in pain to the nurses attention, but it seemed to be a concept that they could not grasp and certainly took forever to address. It was heartbreaking to see him grimmacing every time he would make any small adjustment in his position.
He ended up pulling out his IV four or five times, and the doctors said that they would have to insert a central line so that they could continue treating him with medications and keeping him hydrated. After they had inserted the central line they said that they would have to restrain him, basically tying him to the bed, so that he would not take out the central line. My mom and uncle said NO FUCKING WAY!!!!! It was at that point that we all knew he was going to be leaving us soon....with no IV antibiotics or hydration he would either pass due to infection or due to dehydration.
Hospice took over from there, the wonderful thing about hospice is that they don't have to worry about giving pain medications like a nursing home does. They also don't play games and say "well the patient can become addicted to these pain medications, so we can't prescribe them." HOW FUCKING IDIOTIC IS IT THAT DOCTORS WILL PRESCRIBE MEDICATIONS WHICH HAVE HIGH RISK OF ADDICTION TO PEOPLE WHO ARE IN MILD TO SEVERE PAIN BUT ARE IN THEIR 20'S - 60'S AND IN GOOD HEALTH, BUT REFUSE TO DO SO WHEN THE PERSON IS DYING AND IS SUFFERING??????????????????????
I will continue this later....I'm tired, it's been a long couple of days
It was extremely difficult to watch as he slid away from life and into the next experience (whatever that may be.) He was very agitated on Thursday and Friday, because of an infection, and he was lashing out at everyone, he punched an X-ray techn at the hospital, tried to twist my arm off, tried to bite my mom and a nurse, and kicked a nurse at his nursing home. He was angry, and he had nothing to lose by expressing this anger. He was tired, at 91 years old, after living through 3 different types of cancer, and outliving 4 wives, he'd had enough (although he did have a girlfriend up until yesterday.)
He suffered through hallucinations the last few days, and he was in a lot of pain, which when we first had him at the ER and then the hospital room, seemed to be ignored. My mom brought the fact that he was in pain to the nurses attention, but it seemed to be a concept that they could not grasp and certainly took forever to address. It was heartbreaking to see him grimmacing every time he would make any small adjustment in his position.
He ended up pulling out his IV four or five times, and the doctors said that they would have to insert a central line so that they could continue treating him with medications and keeping him hydrated. After they had inserted the central line they said that they would have to restrain him, basically tying him to the bed, so that he would not take out the central line. My mom and uncle said NO FUCKING WAY!!!!! It was at that point that we all knew he was going to be leaving us soon....with no IV antibiotics or hydration he would either pass due to infection or due to dehydration.
Hospice took over from there, the wonderful thing about hospice is that they don't have to worry about giving pain medications like a nursing home does. They also don't play games and say "well the patient can become addicted to these pain medications, so we can't prescribe them." HOW FUCKING IDIOTIC IS IT THAT DOCTORS WILL PRESCRIBE MEDICATIONS WHICH HAVE HIGH RISK OF ADDICTION TO PEOPLE WHO ARE IN MILD TO SEVERE PAIN BUT ARE IN THEIR 20'S - 60'S AND IN GOOD HEALTH, BUT REFUSE TO DO SO WHEN THE PERSON IS DYING AND IS SUFFERING??????????????????????
I will continue this later....I'm tired, it's been a long couple of days
take care