cyberiouse

So things are still hard for me with everything. After we talked on tuesday its a little easier. But still not easy. It just doesn't hurt as much. I think one of the big things i am having to do that is making it so hard (besides of course the feelings i still have for her) is having to go back to my old life i had before we were together. Not only did i enjoy seeing her and spending time with her but... I got used to actually going out and doing things on a fairly regular basis. Before i started seeing Blaire i would be lucky if i went out with someone (not counting like dinner with my mom) it happened about maybe once or twice a month if i was lucky. My every night and even most days off consisted of me sitting at home alone online and watching tv.
With Blaire we would go out do things go to dinner hang out with her friends and while we did stay home some nights. I wasn't alone and it wasn't as often.
Now i have to get used to being in my old life again of not going out and being at home more often.
... and i know alot of you are going to say "well get up, go out, do things etc etc etc" I honestly... have little places to go or people to do them with. I have a small handful of friends in the city. MOST of them don't live very close and the few that do are always to busy to ever do anything and i have a hard time going to bars/clubs WITH someone and its pretty much IMPOSSIBLE for me to handle going alone.