Life is full of let downs. Life is full of lies. Life is full of "so-called friends". Life is full of people who will take your kindness as an opportunity to walk all over you & take you for granted. Life is full of people who will use you & break your heart. Life is full of people who will pretend to be your friend until something better comes along. Life has thrown me a lot of curve balls lately, and I deserve better than that.
I am a good person, but "bending over backwards" for people & "giving people the shirt off my back" has only caused me a lot of heartache and discontent. I give, give, give, but there never seems to be anything there for me to take. The saying, "You get back what you give" is total bullshit. I never seem to be the one who is getting anything...mostly nothing, and if I get anything it's getting my feelings hurt. Why is it that someone like me who cares so much about the people that I've considered important in my life, get nothing but hurt?? I guess I just need not worry so much about others, start being selfish, start putting myself before anyone else, and stop setting myself up to be taken advantage of. I'm done with being so nice. Why is it that I treat others the way I want to be treated, but no one ever treats me the way they want to be treated?? Why is no one ever considerate of me?? Why am I never important enough?? Why am I always the one who consistently gets forgotten about?? I may as well be invisible....or non-existent. I cease to exist in the eyes of some anyway. I just don't understand why there is always someone better than me. I'm never good enough, never have been, and I guess I never will be. I may as well just go ahead and accept it and move on. Perhaps it's time for another change of surroundings. I've always wanted to live at the beach. I think I'd be a lot happier there. At least I'd have somewhere to go when things get bad. I just want to go to my happy place, and NO ONE is invited! I just don't even fucking care anymore! I'm tired of people sucking the life out of me...
I am a good person, but "bending over backwards" for people & "giving people the shirt off my back" has only caused me a lot of heartache and discontent. I give, give, give, but there never seems to be anything there for me to take. The saying, "You get back what you give" is total bullshit. I never seem to be the one who is getting anything...mostly nothing, and if I get anything it's getting my feelings hurt. Why is it that someone like me who cares so much about the people that I've considered important in my life, get nothing but hurt?? I guess I just need not worry so much about others, start being selfish, start putting myself before anyone else, and stop setting myself up to be taken advantage of. I'm done with being so nice. Why is it that I treat others the way I want to be treated, but no one ever treats me the way they want to be treated?? Why is no one ever considerate of me?? Why am I never important enough?? Why am I always the one who consistently gets forgotten about?? I may as well be invisible....or non-existent. I cease to exist in the eyes of some anyway. I just don't understand why there is always someone better than me. I'm never good enough, never have been, and I guess I never will be. I may as well just go ahead and accept it and move on. Perhaps it's time for another change of surroundings. I've always wanted to live at the beach. I think I'd be a lot happier there. At least I'd have somewhere to go when things get bad. I just want to go to my happy place, and NO ONE is invited! I just don't even fucking care anymore! I'm tired of people sucking the life out of me...
punknitemike:
you just have to really look and find out who you're 'real' friends are, cause your real friends wont let you feel the way you are feeling. just hang in there!
freckles:
happy birthday!