Happy New year. Its is officialy 2005...To everyone that reads this journal I am sorry you have been hearing the same shit over and over. I am really sorry.I have never felt like this before .....I am not puling any punches I feel like dying...Update Jan 2 2005...Went to the movies alone tonight...god thats pathetic..Life Aqutic was good though.I really wish I did not feel like this. Ever feelike you cant feel your heart beating? I have not felt mine in while...Just kind of feel and empty. All I feel is pain...Feel myself losing my grip on life.....Feel myself giving up. Off to bed to dream some more....That is where you are...God I hope I dont wake up! 