I feel like I am just existing with no real goal, maybe its just a feeling of emptiness and loneliness. I mean sure there are things I find to do to fill the time, things I come up with to make myself feel good, achieve something then achieve something else but yet i feel restless and bored. I'd have so much more money if I didn't do shoots and so much more money if I didn't spend it on wardrobe and accessories for shoots. But if I don't do these things I would be even more bored that I already am. Are our lives just meant to be spent working and working and working til we are old and just have small tidbits of time of happiness? I feel like I am just trying to find things to do until I die. Is this a reality for anyone else? I am a woman that does not want to be married or to have any children, and society pegs me as useless, sometimes i feel that way. Sigh.....sorry for the heavy tonight, can't post this on facebook without one of my family members reporting it back to my mother and then she asking me what the hell is wrong with me lol.
