curss

I recently ran into an ex girlfriend that I haven't seen in about 8 or 9 years or so...feels like just yesterday she left...we dated for 2 years and things were primarily great between us...I even quit drinking for her...not that she asked me too...I decided on my own it was better for our relationship...but she had some serious health issues and therefore we had problems at times...seeing her again made me realize that we never really fell out of love...at least I didn't...we split up so she could focus her time to getting past her problems...but neither of us really wanted to be apart(at least I think so)...so seeing her again kinda whipped up a whole shitload of feelings I didn't think still existed...I'm not really sure what to make out of the whole fuckin mess...it took me completly off guard...on top of that I've been having dreams of certain people from my past that I've lost track of and wish I could see again...and to top all that shit off...I went out last friday nite and almost "partied" myself into an early grave...I was lucky enough to have a really great friend with me to look after me...otherwise I'm not sure how my evening would've ended...probably not very fuckin good...thank you DJS!!!
so now I'm thinkin I gotta dryout again...this time might be for good...I'm not sure how much more abuse this older than I pretend it is mortal coil can take...shitty time to quit drinkin tho...xmas/new years/my bday...but I'll be glad to get this year over with...worst last 2 years I can remember...seriously...guess I need to figure out what the fuck's goin on with and around me and make some changes...that's the gameplan anyways...soooooooo if I can just make it to the new year without any bumps in the road... ... ... ...do I even dare tempting fate by finishing that sentence?
probably not

nite pretty ladies!