curss

OK...here we go...sometimes I think I've worn-out my welcome...over-stayed my visit...simply lived too long already...now I'm not talking bout suicide here (pardon the pun) but I just find it harder and harder to move around the city without encountering places or people that are haunted...by haunted I mean-they have memories attached to them...some happy...but most of them sad...now I know the solution when it gets too much to handle is to move away from here...and I intend to when the day arrives...but it's just kinda a pisser when I manage to start my day in a good mood...and then I pass a restaurant or apartment or a store that has some personal history attached to it and it brings down a flood of memories...a friend I stupidly let drift away...a lover I failed to hold onto...somebody I let down in some way...and my mood is soured...ya see-I don't forget very much of my life...I remember almost every little detail...and so when these memories return...even if just for a few minutes...the feelings attached to them return as strong as the first time I felt them...and I just find that after 42 years of livin...all those memories are starting to weigh me down...I just feel exhausted some days...I took the streetcar down Spadina to Queen today and passed thru Chinatown...and realized that it's like an ant colony of ghosts for me...like I said...some good...but lots that are sad...my world seems to be getting smaller and smaller as I try to avoid places that overwhelm me...maybe I'm just running out of hiding spots in Toronto.............