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cubistpoet

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Member Since 2002

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Thursday Aug 07, 2003

Aug 6, 2003
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I've been insane for about a week or two.

Yes, yes.

Fortunately, I've recovered and no longer am under the chaotic spin of my emotions. I truly detest emotions. They transform me into something other than myself. I became a pile of pieces of person on the floor and some feet stepping around in it whenever my emotions take over.

Not a party and a half.

I just get lost in the funhouse, and the best thing for me to do is get out. Sometimes, though, the funhouse makes you forget that you're even in it to begin with.

I adore the short story "Lost in the Funhouse" by John Barth. He's a much better postmodernist than the hack Donald Barthleme.

I think that I love postmodernism because it expresses something that is lurking behind my skin, an impression over which rational thought and coherency have no dominion. Only chaotic nonsense and playful reality-bending tricks will suffice.

I really can't tell real from fake, except at the most basic level. Reality is so muddled and confused that I suspect I define my life and the expectations there of as much by TV/novels/etc. than real life experience. I don't even know what "real" means anymore. Doubly so with things involving the Internet.

So how do I cope?

I laugh and smile and have fun. Shrug it off and think, "Perhaps this way is more fun if more confusing, and if nothing else I'm not the only one fumbling my way through this existence."

The key to happiness in contemporary society seems to be, to me, a smiling acceptance that the world we're living in is no worse off than the one before, in fact it's better because we all suffer together rather than displacing our suffering on colonies, slaves, women, etc.

Well... some still do, but screw them!
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
ophelia:
I had someone talk to me yesterday and say that they were impressed that I was still sane after the life that I've had up to this point.
I laughed. It's like everything that's happening is happening to someone else and I just disconnect myself from everything until it calms down. *I* haven't lived through anything, I've just watched me living through it.
Aug 14, 2003
grendel_kin:
i like this idea.... an equality of suffering through a contemporary life as a new found utopia.

.......thanks for organizing the group read, my man. i
am going to throw you on to my friends list and feel welcome to do the same. looking forward to the read.

sanity is over rated....hope for stability...or even functionality.
Aug 30, 2003

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