I need a hug again...
And again, I don't get one...
Bah. I hate life. I hate loneliness.
And again, I don't get one...
Bah. I hate life. I hate loneliness.
Limbo sucks... It's not as though I don't have friends... It's not as though no one will listen (though I know most people don't really want to listen...)... It's not as though I'm not a worthwhile person...
It's as though I have a lot of friends... It's as though people have expressed that they'll listen... It's as though I am worthwhile...
Logically I understand all...
Read More
It's as though I have a lot of friends... It's as though people have expressed that they'll listen... It's as though I am worthwhile...
Logically I understand all...
Read More
mei:
of course, i can't say anything but "i almost understand."
i too feel like logically, i can't be alone forever, but like that must be how it's going to be, emotionally.
and don't be too down on the "sympathetic friends." it's a hard place to be, caring but not knowing what to say, having to slip into a pre-defined role because there's no clear way to help. not that it doesn't suck, just that it kind of sucks from all sides.
and my life has been non-stop excitement too, just internal-turmoil excitement. and the kind that it doesn't do much good to talk about on the site.
grr.
i too feel like logically, i can't be alone forever, but like that must be how it's going to be, emotionally.
and don't be too down on the "sympathetic friends." it's a hard place to be, caring but not knowing what to say, having to slip into a pre-defined role because there's no clear way to help. not that it doesn't suck, just that it kind of sucks from all sides.
and my life has been non-stop excitement too, just internal-turmoil excitement. and the kind that it doesn't do much good to talk about on the site.
grr.
fictionmusic:
If by signature tele you mean a reissue then that is what she is (you are not on crack!). I believe its a James Burton model, although its got Lace Sensors instead of the original single coils. A beauty to listen to but a wee bit hard on the fingers.
After reading your journal I have some small advice: I think everyone goes through similar things where they feel alone. I know for me when I was growing up no-one liked the music I liked, my family wasn't in to me being a musician, and the music I heard naturally in my head was reviled by the few people I shared it with. Fuck'em all. I guess my point is whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger and that real wisdom is hard earned. I had music to turn to (that and a shit-load of drugs) do you?
After reading your journal I have some small advice: I think everyone goes through similar things where they feel alone. I know for me when I was growing up no-one liked the music I liked, my family wasn't in to me being a musician, and the music I heard naturally in my head was reviled by the few people I shared it with. Fuck'em all. I guess my point is whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger and that real wisdom is hard earned. I had music to turn to (that and a shit-load of drugs) do you?
Ummmm.... Yeah... I don't really have anything to say, just wanted to get rid of that last fucking post... So there; I did it!
So Bat Boy: The Musical kicked ass, I must say...
And while I no longer have my significant other to fall back on, as far as support goes, I have managed to build a sizeable support network all on my lonesome... Because apparently, I'm cool like that.
And not only is it a support network, much of it is what I would consider a crew......
Read More
And while I no longer have my significant other to fall back on, as far as support goes, I have managed to build a sizeable support network all on my lonesome... Because apparently, I'm cool like that.
And not only is it a support network, much of it is what I would consider a crew......
Read More
Always look on the bright side of life
Yeah, that...
Acting in persuit of such an ability, I say this. I get to go see Bat Boy: The Musical tonight... Which should be fun.
Yeah, that...
Acting in persuit of such an ability, I say this. I get to go see Bat Boy: The Musical tonight... Which should be fun.
tygertyger:
Bat Boy? Fucking A, man! 
So who loves being depressed during school? It makes it so much better... In that it makes it so much harder to care about doing your fucking work... Or to care about much of anything really... Oh well. I really need to stop bitching.
So..... Yeah.....
So..... Yeah.....
So who can say (say it along with me now);
Life's a bitch, and then you die?
Anyone? 'Cause I'm sure there's someone out there who can identify... But wait... I find myself trying to figure out the probability of such a person actually reading my fucking journal, and as I only know of one person who does so, I think the probability is REALLY...
Read More
Life's a bitch, and then you die?
Anyone? 'Cause I'm sure there's someone out there who can identify... But wait... I find myself trying to figure out the probability of such a person actually reading my fucking journal, and as I only know of one person who does so, I think the probability is REALLY...
Read More
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
mei:
hey, the only reason that i don't read this more often is that you don't update.
but you can always come talk to me. if nothing else, we are in similar situations. you could probably talk to your brother, too. i bet he'd understand.
i'm lonely all the time right now, so maybe i'll try calling you more often. we could play pool or something.
but you can always come talk to me. if nothing else, we are in similar situations. you could probably talk to your brother, too. i bet he'd understand.
i'm lonely all the time right now, so maybe i'll try calling you more often. we could play pool or something.
mei:
oh, and "life's a bitch, and then you die."
i can say it and mean it, lately.
i can say it and mean it, lately.
Life sucks a lot. Does anybody know why it sucks so much? I try very hard to be a nice guy, and I think that most of the time I succeed, and yet my life sucks... How is that fair?
flux:
you know where i live.
flux:
ogh shut the fuck up. 
So life kind of sucks at the moment... I won't go into a detailed explanation of why, as I don't want to put all of you people out there in cyberspace to sleep (hell, I don't want to put the people who have met me here in the not-so-digitized world to sleep either). No one likes to be put into the situation where they feel...
Read More
Read More
flux:
you know where i live. i make a mean cup of tea and peanut butter and banana sammich. oh yeah, and i will listen.
So yeah, Kill Bill rocks the casbah, and I feel that due to its coolness, I should actually try to follow through with the plan that I've had for about four years now to take a weapons training class somewhere to learn how to use a sword... I mean, I know that I won't be tought how to use a katana, but still... I can...
Read More
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
scylla:
Woohoo I have a date for the formal... now I have to do is learn to play 9 ball I am digging the cex, it's being ridden (the bowie-cover one)... he's so good! Yay!
I can't believe anyone would walk out on Kill Bill. Haven't they ever seen Dead Alive? Yeesh!
I am digging the cex, it's being ridden (the bowie-cover one)... he's so good! Yay!
I can't believe anyone would walk out on Kill Bill. Haven't they ever seen Dead Alive? Yeesh!
flux:
totalllllly. actualy, one of my nicknames in high school was "strange quark."
Blargh. I've been sick for a week now, and it sucks. Who wants some tacos? Cause I do.
scylla:
Tacos are awesome! Er yeah i was also sick for about a two weeks period, compounded by totally ditching sleep and eating uhm... twix. But now I am all better and cough-less. Yay! *coughs poison on a bunch of puppies*
I don't think I am that into pool, I figure I am currently on a pretty intense learning curve, so eventually I'll just plateau out and get decent and that will be the end of that. However, I am probably terribly wrong.
I thought that the headline for that article was FAR MORE promising than it actually turned out to be.
(my browser is fucked up and I can't click on the monkey icon... but the intent is there!)
I don't think I am that into pool, I figure I am currently on a pretty intense learning curve, so eventually I'll just plateau out and get decent and that will be the end of that. However, I am probably terribly wrong.
I thought that the headline for that article was FAR MORE promising than it actually turned out to be.
(my browser is fucked up and I can't click on the monkey icon... but the intent is there!)w00t! so, this weekend is my dad's big fat barbeque bash, so i get to get away from school, AND i found a restaurant last night that sells big bowls of grits; in portland, no less.
so yeah; i'm going to go wish my dad a happy birthday.
bye bye
so yeah; i'm going to go wish my dad a happy birthday.
bye bye
flux:
but, see, i hate people. i hate hate hate large groups of people. b-man, well,
that's a hell of a lot of people.
that's a hell of a lot of people.
Are you kidding? Thats what is cool these days. No just about it.
I know what you mean about the drug thing. Last year I almost died from them (real close!) and now I'm totally clean.
They did work though in a weird way. They took me slowly to the place where I needed to make some real choices.
[Edited on Nov 20, 2003 5:52PM]
[Edited on Nov 20, 2003 5:52PM]