crystian

i decided to stop being mean; there's little point. anyone who sucks either knows it & doesn't care or will forever be in denial. either way it just further fucks with your own karma (right, lindsey?). then, there's the issue of disappointment. when i am disappointed it puts said person in a permanent state of defense. in reality it is only the best compliment i can give. i've come across few people who have impressed me. those few that have, i hold onto like an orphaned child (which i more or less am). i never want to knock these people from their pedestals. so, when they disappoint me, it is really just an end to my unwaivering devotion. that pisses me off.

i'm at my dad's house. i slipped in dog pee and nearly hit my head on the dresser that used to be mine as a child. new orleans is about to be swallowed up by the sea. my sinuses are infected, i think.

i've been working my ass off the past two weeks. i've never really worked before. i'm exhausted and just want to be lazy. i'm copying and posting this to my suicide girls journal as i have no energy to think up something else to say there.

i should've seen the french quarter one last time. all those beautiful graves will be washed away. the ivy & wisteria will take years to grow back. this makes me very sad for some reason.

~xo