cruelvalentine

You are like an angel out of the badlands of paradise.
I ambled into your path and I was thrown like rice.
Now, I simply try to
detach
from the gaps in conversation,
the subtly shifting spaces in your breathing
when I'm touching you and you
fly away into some cold memory.
I am struggling not to care for you
in the crazy, reckless way that I do.

Put it this way
No.
Let me paint you a picture.
It was warm that day and the water was low
and we entered that quaint old cafe.
And the matronly patrons all gawked as we
flocked to a window table on glad wings.
You told me sad things, and whispered your dreams.
And they despised us for the way that we laughed,
and just as much for when we were silent.
We were two beautiful, tousled heads of hair
with dozens of cackling, shimmering teeth:
cool with cucumber water and the reluctance to love,
but the inability to avoid it.
(We lacked the tools to destroy it.)

I need I need I need,
A helmet A tourniquet I need,
To love you, You cut into me, Need to want
girl. girl. this girl, and
I do
want to be inside of that beautiful brain
(but I fear you.)

I've been captured, I'm on the wrong end of the rapture.
You bite into the parts of my history that are bitter.
The taste is unnatural, but
unmistakable and you quake a bit,
then it subsides. And we ride.
Ride past the stupid shit that I said last night,
past the severed, talking heads of this
cerulean nation of dead end conversation.
(Creation never seemed so barren.)

You are so Paidia.
Immature handmaiden with
god-knows-what lying underneath.
You are so Paidia
beautiful, killer handmaiden
with violet eyes that stunt
the way I breathe.

Put it this way
No.
Let me paint you a picture.
It was warm that day,
you placed your arms over your face as you
wheezed in the obtrusive sky.
And the water,
the water, it grew high.
Every bubble of the brine
harbored a goodbye.
Every wave hissed an elegy for the way that you fucked me
and an ominous whisper about the
way you might miss me
had you ever even kissed me
and meant it at all.

Put it this way:
It was cool that day
and I welcomed,
I welcomed the Fall.