I WENT TO GO SEE A "PSYCHIC." SHE LIVES A BLOCK FROM THE EMERSON COLLEGE CAMPUS IN AN APARTMENT. SHE SENDS AN INDIAN GUY OUT ON THE STREET TO FLYER COLLEGE STUDENTS FOR A $35 "PALM READING." I ASKED HER WHAT HER CREDENTIALS AS A PSYCHIC WERE. I ASKED HER IF IT WAS A TRADITION PASSED DOWN IN HER FAMILY. SHE SAID NO. I ASKED HER IF IT WAS SOMETHING SHE HAD STUDIED. SHE SAID NO. I ASKED HER IF IT WAS SOMETHING SHE READ IN A BOOK ONCE. SHE SAID NO. SO I ASKED HER AGAIN WHY I WAS PAYING HER $35 FOR A PALM READING. SHE SAID SHE WAS A MEMBER OF THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU. I TOLD HER CAR DEALERSHIPS ARE MEMBERS OF THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU. SHE BROKE HER ACT, YELLED "YOU FUCKING FAGGOT! SUCK MY DICK!" AT ME AND THREW ME OUT OF HER APARTMENT. ON THE WAY OUT SHE YELLED, "AND WASH YOUR JACKET, IT'S DIRTY!"
TRANSLATION:
![mad](https://dz3ixmv6nok8z.cloudfront.net/static/img/emoticons/mad.73f291fbf3b2.gif)
TRANSLATION:
![whatever](https://dz3ixmv6nok8z.cloudfront.net/static/img/emoticons/rollseyes.21cb35fd0ec2.gif)
![surreal](https://dz3ixmv6nok8z.cloudfront.net/static/img/emoticons/surreal.c4753148b56b.gif)
![mad](https://dz3ixmv6nok8z.cloudfront.net/static/img/emoticons/mad.73f291fbf3b2.gif)